May 26, 2021
What They Found
James is a family man. He is very particular about spending time with his family every weekend. This week was no exception. He took his daughter, Lola, on a hike through the mountains. Lola was very happy about the trip. He loved hikig and spending time with her dad. So the trip promised to be lovely. James and Lola had been going for hours and still couldn't get enough. The mountains never looked more peaceful. Then Lola noticed something. Hey, dad! she said. Look! What is it? He took a peculiarly looking amulet from the ground showed it to her dad. James gave it a close examination. Actually he though he might have seen it before. He did not hesitate to tell Lola his idea about what it might be. He told her actually saw something that looked just like this amulet on a local museum's website. Just as she heard his story, Lola got excited about it. She wanted to know all about the amulet they found. She persuaded her dad to go to the local museum right away and find out. So they hurried and in just about half an hour they were at the local museum. They showed the amulet they found to the stuff. Jeff, a guy working at the museum, told them it was a big deal they found such an amulet. He said it is very rare and highly valued. They discussed the matter further. The museum showed interest in keeping the amulet and was even willing to offer James and his daughter some compensation. James took their offer. On their way back home from the museum he reminded Lola her birthday is approaching and gave her a hint he might use the money to buy her an awesome gift this year.
James is a family man.
This week was no exception.
He took his daughter, Lola, on a hike through the mountains.
Lola was very happy about the trip.
HShe loved hiking and spending time with her dad.
"Hey, dad!", she said. "Look! What is it?"
Dialog that a person said goes into quotes.
HShe took a peculiarly looking amulet from the ground and showed it to her dad.
His daughter is a "she".
James gave it a close examination.
Actually hHe thought he might have seen it before.
In this context, "Actually" is used to contradict a previous sentence or concept.
He told her actuallyhe saw something that looked just like this amulet on a local museum's website.
Just aAs she heard his story, Lola got excited about it.
They showed the amulet they found to the stuff.
It is redundant to specify that they found the amulet.
The museum showed interest in keeping the amulet and was even willing to offer James and his daughter some compensation.
James took their offer.
Feedback
Be sure to pay attention as to who is speaking. You mixed up "he" and "she" a few times.
You used the words "particular" and "actually" in this text, though in this context, they sounded bizarre.
"James is a family man. He spends time with his family every weekend and this week was no exception. He planned to take his daughter, Lola, on a hike through the mountains. Lola was very happy about this trip as she loved hiking and spending time with her dad. So, the trip promised to be lovely. James and Lola had been going for hours and still couldn't get enough. The mountains never looked more peaceful. Then, Lola noticed something. "Hey, dad!" she said, "Look! What is it?" She took a peculiarly looking amulet off the ground and showed it to her dad. James gave it a close examination. He thought he might have seen it before. He immediately told Lola about what it might be, that he had seen something that looked just like it on a local museum's website. Lola got excited hearing about this. She immediately wanted to know all about the amulet they had found. She persuaded her dad to go to the local museum right away to find out. So, they hurried and in about half an hour they were at the local museum. They showed the amulet they found to the stuff. Jeff, a guy who works at the museum, told them it that finding the amulet was a big deal. He said it was very rare and highly valued. They discussed the matter further. The museum showed interest in acquiring the amulet and was even willing to offer James and his daughter some compensation. James took their offer. On their way back home from the museum, he reminded Lola her birthday was approaching and he hinted that he might use the money to buy her an awesome gift this year."
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she said. |
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Look! |
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James took their offer. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Just as she heard his story, Lola got excited about it.
|
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She wanted to know all about the amulet they found. |
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Then Lola noticed something. |
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Hey, dad! "Hey, dad!", she said. "Look! What is it?" Dialog that a person said goes into quotes. |
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What They Found |
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James is a family man. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He is very particular about spending time with his family every weekend. |
|
This week was no exception. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He took his daughter, Lola, on a hike through the mountains. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Lola was very happy about the trip. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He loved hikig and spending time with her dad.
|
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So the trip promised to be lovely. |
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James and Lola had been going for hours and still couldn't get enough. |
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The mountains never looked more peaceful. |
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What is it? |
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He took a peculiarly looking amulet from the ground showed it to her dad.
His daughter is a "she". |
|
James gave it a close examination. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Actually he though he might have seen it before.
In this context, "Actually" is used to contradict a previous sentence or concept. |
|
He did not hesitate to tell Lola his idea about what it might be. |
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He told her actually saw something that looked just like this amulet on a local museum's website. He told her |
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She persuaded her dad to go to the local museum right away and find out. |
|
So they hurried and in just about half an hour they were at the local museum. |
|
They showed the amulet they found to the stuff. They showed the amulet It is redundant to specify that they found the amulet. |
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Jeff, a guy working at the museum, told them it was a big deal they found such an amulet. |
|
He said it is very rare and highly valued. |
|
They discussed the matter further. |
|
The museum showed interest in keeping the amulet and was even willing to offer James and his daughter some compensation. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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On their way back home from the museum he reminded Lola her birthday is approaching and gave her a hint he might use the money to buy her an awesome gift this year. |
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