Around 2010, I had athe chance to go to Hong Kong and Macao.

"had the chance to" is a more common phrase than "had a chance to".
Optionally: "had the opportunity to"

She organized the tourists that were from different cities to go to Hong Kong from the customs of Shenzhen.

Your sentence was technically correct, but was a little bit more wordy than it needed to be.

We didn’t visit Shenzhen, however, we just passed by.

I suggest combining the following sentence with this one. Since they are both connected ideas, it makes more sense to put them together into 1 sentence.

We just wentpassed by.

"we just passed by" is a more common phrase than "we just went by"

Before we were going to gomaking it to Hong Kong, the tour group stopped at a shop in according toance with the guide’s schedule.

Since the bus was already going to Hong Kong, it doesn't make sense to say "before going to Hong Kong."
Also, "according to" wasn't really incorrect, it's just that "in accordance with" sounds slightly more natural.

She said that it would be very difficult to communicate with the Hong Kong people as they only spoke English and Cantonese, and that the daily supplies weare too expensive, so she strongly recommended that we should buy enough dailythe supplies we needed before we got back to the mainland.

"and that" is used here instead of just "and" because "the daily supplies are too expensive" is a continuation of what the tour guide said. As in, she said that "it would be very difficult to communicate with the Hong Kong people ..." and that "the daily supplies are too expensive".

Before our bus was going to stopped, I saw a lot of people out of the bus raising some signs and trying to say something to us.

"Before our bus was going to stop" sounds like the bus never stopped (as in, "the bus was going to stop, but then it didn't"). Where as, "Before our bus stopped," explicitly states that "our bus eventually did stop."

We would be in trouble if we got in touch withtalked them.

Alternate suggestion:
"We would be in trouble if we got involved with them"

What left a deep impression on me, was the neon light patterns on the tall buildings at night.

I hadn’t yet seen a city that was so beautiful and prosperous.

"I hadn't seen a city that was so beautiful and prosperous." Sounds like you still "haven't seen a city that was so beautiful and prosperous," which isn't true.
Alternate suggestion:
"I hadn’t seen a city that was so beautiful and prosperous before."

Maybe two days later, in Hong Kong, we visited Macao by cruise.

Macao was smaller than Hong Kong, and the looks of the buildings in Macao were much less beautifulpretty than those in Hong Kong.

"beautiful" is correct, but since you've already used "beautiful" a lot, I made the suggestion to use a synonym.

The hotel Lisboa looked like a bird cage, referring to the fact that as long asonce you entered the “cage”, you wouldn’t get out without losing anysomething.

In Zhuhai, the guide took us to a gold shop, where the bosshead of the shop tried really hard to show us that his gold products were authe bestntic and authentic best- he pulled very hard on a gold necklace, up and down, against the edge of the glass of his counter very hard.

"boss of the shop" doesn't makes sense, as (in English) "the boss of <something>" is only used for people, such as, "the boss of me/you".

Zhuhai was our last stop in that trip, and then, I gowent back to my hometown by train.