Jack's avatar
Jack

April 25, 2025

15
Throw Mud Balls

One game I played in my childhood may be “throw mud balls” in English.

The game was played on lightly rainy days. To play the game, a very elastic branch was needed. The branches were about 50 to 60 centimeters long and the diameter of the middle of them was around 5 to 6 millimeters, which was considered the best branch to play the game.

When the branches were ready, players grabbed a handful of mud and shaped it into many small balls of suitable size. At this stage, the mud should have moderate moisture; otherwise, it couldn't be made into small balls.

When the branches and small mud balls were all ready, the game could start. Attach a small ball to the thin end of the branch tightly, hold the thick end of the branch, and then try hard to throw the ball as far as you can. Whoever throws the ball farthest is the winner.

That is all for this journal. I will introduce you guys to another game in the next journal.

Corrections
0

Throw Mud Balls

One game I played in my childhood may be called “throw mud balls” in English.

Your original was not wrong but adding called makes it more clear that you are doing a direct translation.

The game was played on slightly rainy days.

Lightly is used correctly here but it sounds more natural to say slightly.

To play the game, a very elastic branch was needed.

The best branches were about 50 to 60 centimeters long and the diameter of the middle of them was around 5 to 6 millimeters, which was considered the best branch to play the game.

By putting "which was considered the best branch to play the game." at the end it feels redundant.

WhenAfter players finish preparing their branches were ready, players, they would grabbed a handful of mud and shaped it into many small balls of suitableabout golf ball size.

How were the branches made ready? Do they need to be stripped or prepared in some way? While this is not required for your story, starting a sentence with the phrase "When the branches were ready" makes it feel like there was a previous step that we missed. "suitable size" feels redundant unless there is a specific size you can reference.

At this stage, the mud should have moderatstill be a little moisture; otherwise, it couldn't be made into small balls.

"moderate moisture" sounds like you are doing a weather report or a more formal account. If that is your intent then it is good.

When the branches and small mud balls were all ready, the game could start.

Attach a smallmud ball to the thin end of the branch tightsecurely, hold the thick end of the branch, and then try hard to throw the ball as far as you can.

"tightly" is usually used in a different context like making a knot. Try using a different word there. "try hard" is a bit clunky here. You are already throwing as far as you can so it can be assumed that you are trying hard.

Whoever throws the ball farthest is the winner.

That is all for this journal.

I will introduce you guys to another game in the next journal.

Feedback

Great journal! You clearly communicate with each sentence. Your writing does come across as very formal/textbook. Not a bad thing, it makes you sound educated but also that English is not your first language.

Jack's avatar
Jack

April 27, 2025

15

Thank you very much.

One game I played in my childhood may bewas called “throw mud balls” in English.

The game was played on lightly rainy days.

The branches were about 50 to 60 centimeters long, and the diameter of the middle of thembranch was around 5 to 6 millimeters, which was considered the best branch tofor playing the game.

When the branches were ready, players grabbed a handful of mud and shaped it into many small balls of suitable size.

At this stage, the mud should have moderate moisture; otherwise, it couldn't be made into small balls.

When the branches and small mud balls were all ready, the gamwe could start the game.

Attach a small ball to the thin end of the branch tightly, hold the thick end of the branch, and then try hard to throw the ball as far as you canpossible.

Whoever throws the ball farthest is the winner.

That is all for this journal.

Jack's avatar
Jack

April 25, 2025

15

Thank you very much.

0

Throwing Mud Balls

One game I played in my childhood may be called “throwing mud balls” in English.

The game was played on days with lightly rainy days.

It is okay before, but this sounds better.

The branches were about 50 to 60 centimeters long, and thea diameter ofin the middle of them was around 5 to 6 millimeters, which was considered the best branch to playthickness for the game.

AYou would attach a small ball tightly to the thin end of the branch tightly, hold the thick end of the branch, and then try hard to throw the ball as far as you can.

"hard" is not necessary because you already say "as far as you can".

Jack's avatar
Jack

April 25, 2025

15

Thank you very much.

Throw Mud Balls


Throwing Mud Balls

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

That is all for this journal.


That is all for this journal.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

One game I played in my childhood may be “throw mud balls” in English.


One game I played in my childhood may be called “throwing mud balls” in English.

One game I played in my childhood may bewas called “throw mud balls” in English.

One game I played in my childhood may be called “throw mud balls” in English.

Your original was not wrong but adding called makes it more clear that you are doing a direct translation.

The game was played on lightly rainy days.


The game was played on days with lightly rainy days.

It is okay before, but this sounds better.

The game was played on lightly rainy days.

The game was played on slightly rainy days.

Lightly is used correctly here but it sounds more natural to say slightly.

To play the game, a very elastic branch was needed.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The branches were about 50 to 60 centimeters long and the diameter of the middle of them was around 5 to 6 millimeters, which was considered the best branch to play the game.


The branches were about 50 to 60 centimeters long, and thea diameter ofin the middle of them was around 5 to 6 millimeters, which was considered the best branch to playthickness for the game.

The branches were about 50 to 60 centimeters long, and the diameter of the middle of thembranch was around 5 to 6 millimeters, which was considered the best branch tofor playing the game.

The best branches were about 50 to 60 centimeters long and the diameter of the middle of them was around 5 to 6 millimeters, which was considered the best branch to play the game.

By putting "which was considered the best branch to play the game." at the end it feels redundant.

When the branches were ready, players grabbed a handful of mud and shaped it into many small balls of suitable size.


When the branches were ready, players grabbed a handful of mud and shaped it into many small balls of suitable size.

WhenAfter players finish preparing their branches were ready, players, they would grabbed a handful of mud and shaped it into many small balls of suitableabout golf ball size.

How were the branches made ready? Do they need to be stripped or prepared in some way? While this is not required for your story, starting a sentence with the phrase "When the branches were ready" makes it feel like there was a previous step that we missed. "suitable size" feels redundant unless there is a specific size you can reference.

At this stage, the mud should have moderate moisture; otherwise, it couldn't be made into small balls.


At this stage, the mud should have moderate moisture; otherwise, it couldn't be made into small balls.

At this stage, the mud should have moderatstill be a little moisture; otherwise, it couldn't be made into small balls.

"moderate moisture" sounds like you are doing a weather report or a more formal account. If that is your intent then it is good.

When the branches and small mud balls were all ready, the game could start.


When the branches and small mud balls were all ready, the gamwe could start the game.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Attach a small ball to the thin end of the branch tightly, hold the thick end of the branch, and then try hard to throw the ball as far as you can.


AYou would attach a small ball tightly to the thin end of the branch tightly, hold the thick end of the branch, and then try hard to throw the ball as far as you can.

"hard" is not necessary because you already say "as far as you can".

Attach a small ball to the thin end of the branch tightly, hold the thick end of the branch, and then try hard to throw the ball as far as you canpossible.

Attach a smallmud ball to the thin end of the branch tightsecurely, hold the thick end of the branch, and then try hard to throw the ball as far as you can.

"tightly" is usually used in a different context like making a knot. Try using a different word there. "try hard" is a bit clunky here. You are already throwing as far as you can so it can be assumed that you are trying hard.

Whoever throws the ball farthest is the winner.


Whoever throws the ball farthest is the winner.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I will introduce you guys to another game in the next journal.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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