rosaavila11's avatar
rosaavila11

June 13, 2025

0
the Hole

Hole.
today is a very sad day for me, I am looking back on my life.
I am alone in my house, my daughter leaved she no longer lives with me, she preferred to go with her father, a part of me left with her, this for me is very sad.

sometimes I enter her room and I feel all cold, sometimes cry for she, I miss her, I feeling in hole but every moment deep breath and thik, All this is momentary.

the sad will pased and I pray for feeling very well.

Corrections

tThe Holevacuum

Hole.

tToday is a very sad day for me, I am as I looking back on my life.

I am alone in my house, as my daughter leavehas left and she no longer lives with me, s. She preferred to go with her father, a. A part of me left with her, this and for me this is very sad.

sSometimes, I enter her room and I feel all cold, s. Sometimes I cry for she,r as I miss her,. I feeling in hole but a vacuum every moment but I take a deep breath and thik, Ank - all this is momentary.

tThe sadness will paseds and I pray for feeling very well.I will feel better soon.

rosaavila11's avatar
rosaavila11

yesterday

0

Thanks for your correction

the Hole

Hole.

tToday is a very sad day for me,. I am looking back on my life.

Always put a capitalised letter at the start of a sentence, and i sounds better in two difference sentences in my opinion.

I am alone in my house, my daughter leavedft, she no longer lives with me, she preferred. She chose to go with her father, and a part of me left with her, this for me is very sadpainful for me.

I just changed the punctuation in a way that makes a bit more sense, and changed the word order at the end. I also replaced "sad" for "painful" which is a stronger way to express grief and sadness. Also, the biggest pain for english learners it seems...irregular verbs the past perfect of "to leave" is "left" and not "leaved"

sSometimes I entergo into her room and I feel all cold, s. Sometimes I cry for sher, I miss her, I feeling like I'm in a hole but in every moment deep breath and thik,nk. All of this is momentary.

So a lot of things to unpack here. First of all capitalised letters and changed the punctuation a bit for clarity. Then i replaced "enter" with "go into" which sounds a bit more natural in my opinion and i also removed "all" for the same reason. Then in order to make a comparison "you feel LIKE a hole" you need to put...well the word "like" so i changed that a bit in order to get a comparison.

tThe sadness will paseds and I pray for feeling very wellto be better soon.

I put the noun "sadness" instead of the adjective, and changed your wish at the end for the sake of sounding more natural. Finally since you used "will" the verb "pass" can't be used in it's past for, but in it's base form (I'm not sure that's how it's called but oh well)

Feedback

You did quite well, keep at it! You did a really good job at conveying your emotions! Although I'm sorry for your situation, and I'll pray with you for you to feel better soon🙏

rosaavila11's avatar
rosaavila11

yesterday

0

Thanks for your correction

the Hole


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

tThe Holevacuum

Hole.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

today is a very sad day for me, I am looking back on my life.


tToday is a very sad day for me,. I am looking back on my life.

Always put a capitalised letter at the start of a sentence, and i sounds better in two difference sentences in my opinion.

tToday is a very sad day for me, I am as I looking back on my life.

I am alone in my house, my daughter leaved she no longer lives with me, she preferred to go with her father, a part of me left with her, this for me is very sad.


I am alone in my house, my daughter leavedft, she no longer lives with me, she preferred. She chose to go with her father, and a part of me left with her, this for me is very sadpainful for me.

I just changed the punctuation in a way that makes a bit more sense, and changed the word order at the end. I also replaced "sad" for "painful" which is a stronger way to express grief and sadness. Also, the biggest pain for english learners it seems...irregular verbs the past perfect of "to leave" is "left" and not "leaved"

I am alone in my house, as my daughter leavehas left and she no longer lives with me, s. She preferred to go with her father, a. A part of me left with her, this and for me this is very sad.

sometimes I enter her room and I feel all cold, sometimes cry for she, I miss her, I feeling in hole but every moment deep breath and thik, All this is momentary.


sSometimes I entergo into her room and I feel all cold, s. Sometimes I cry for sher, I miss her, I feeling like I'm in a hole but in every moment deep breath and thik,nk. All of this is momentary.

So a lot of things to unpack here. First of all capitalised letters and changed the punctuation a bit for clarity. Then i replaced "enter" with "go into" which sounds a bit more natural in my opinion and i also removed "all" for the same reason. Then in order to make a comparison "you feel LIKE a hole" you need to put...well the word "like" so i changed that a bit in order to get a comparison.

sSometimes, I enter her room and I feel all cold, s. Sometimes I cry for she,r as I miss her,. I feeling in hole but a vacuum every moment but I take a deep breath and thik, Ank - all this is momentary.

the sad will pased and I pray for feeling very well.


tThe sadness will paseds and I pray for feeling very wellto be better soon.

I put the noun "sadness" instead of the adjective, and changed your wish at the end for the sake of sounding more natural. Finally since you used "will" the verb "pass" can't be used in it's past for, but in it's base form (I'm not sure that's how it's called but oh well)

tThe sadness will paseds and I pray for feeling very well.I will feel better soon.

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