April 15, 2021
The Day We Redecorated Our House! : )
Writing Challenge: Day 15
Thursday, April 15th, 2021
We used to have hamsters at home 13 years ago. Even though I didn't use to take care of them since they were my brother's, but I thought they were very cute, especially their hand moves on their glass box trying to get out, but slipping down everytime. I used to call it the cleaning-window move :D
I never thought that they save their food in their cheeks until I saw them doing that with my own eyes. They used to eat everything we put in their box very fast, be it corn or lettuce, but they would keep most of the food in their cheeks until they feel hungry again.
One day they ran away and the lady hamster was pregnant! It was around dawn, and I had just woke up and was having my tea in my room. I thought I was dreaming when I saw a hamster at my room door. It was standing there rubbing its cheeks! Two Seconds later I made sure that it was real. I panicked and didn't know what to do ;) The Pregnant hamster was nowhere to be found!
I had to go to work, but when I came back home, I found that the 2 hamsters became a family. I believe she gave birth to 12 little hamsters. While this was good news, the not-so-good part was that she gave birth to them under a very heavy China closet that we rarely move.
We tried to put food for the new mother hamster, but unfortunately she was so afraid that she started eating her newborns, which was a huge shock for me. I mean I heard before that cats could do that to their newborns but thought it was a myth.
With some extra help from the neighbours, we moved the China closet, and moved the whole hamster family -or what's left of them- to a new box. After that incident, we stopped keeping hamsters at home. Things used to be easier when we kept just two male hamsters. It's not an easy task to take care of a hamster family, especially that they keep giving birth to 12 in each pregnancy ;D
The Day We Redecorated Our House! : )
Writing Challenge: Day 15
Thursday, April 15th, 2021
We used to havehad hamsters at home 13 years ago.
Usually past simple goes with "X years ago."
Even though I didn't use to take care of them since they were my brother's, but I thought they were very cute, especially how their handpaws movesd on their glass box, trying to get out, but slipping down every time.
Even though X, Y
or...
X, but Y
"Even though" and "but" don't go together.
Hamsters have paws, not hands :)
I used to call it the window-cleaning-window move :D
I never thought that they saved their food in their cheeks until I saw them doing thait with my own eyes.
Or "until I saw it with my own eyes"
They used to eat everything we put in their box very fastquickly, be it corn or lettuce, but they would keep most of the food in their cheeks until they feel hungry again.
One day they ran away, and the lady hamster was pregnant!
"Lady hamster" sounded rather funny. "Female hamster" is better
It was around dawn, and I had just woken up and was having my tea in my room.
I thought I was dreaming when I saw a hamster at my room's door.
Or just "at my door"
It was standing there rubbing its cheeks!
Two Sseconds later, I made sure that it was real.
I panicked and didn't know what to do ;) The Ppregnant hamster was nowhere to be found!
I had to go to work, but when I came back home, I found that the 2two hamsters had becaome a family.
I believe she gave birth to 12 little hamsters.
While this was good news, the not-so-good part was that she gave birth to them under a very heavy China closet that we rarely move.
We tried to put out food for the new mother hamster, but unfortunately, she was so afraid that she started eating her newborns, which was a huge shock for me.
Gahh that's awful!
Usually you put something *somewhere*
I mean, I had heard before that cats could do that to their newborns, but I thought it was a myth.
With some extra help from the neighbours, we moved the China closet, and movtransferred the whole hamster family -–or what' was left of them- –to a new box.
I replaced "moved" with "transferred" to remove redundancy.
After that incident, we stopped keeping hamsters at home.
Things used to bwere easier when we kept just two male hamsters.
Or "things had been easier." But this version is simpler.
It's not an easy task to take care of a hamster family, especially given that they keep giving birth to 12 in eachbabies per pregnancy ;D
Feedback
That is quite a story! Well-written.
April 20, 2021
Even though I didn't use to take care of them since they were my brother's, but I thought they were very cute, especially how their handpaws movesd on their glass box, trying to get out, but slipping down every time.
And what cute paws they had 😂
April 20, 2021
One day they ran away, and the lady hamster was pregnant!
I actually meant this one to be funny 🤣
April 20, 2021
We tried to put out food for the new mother hamster, but unfortunately, she was so afraid that she started eating her newborns, which was a huge shock for me.
It WAS an awful moment that I wish could forget but it’s stuck in my mind 🙈
April 20, 2021
Thank you very much, Aviva 😃 I really appreciate your corrections and great help 🍀
April 22, 2021
I actually meant this one to be funny 🤣
In that case, it works great :)
April 22, 2021
Thank you very much, Aviva 😃 I really appreciate your corrections and great help 🍀
You are so welcome! This was fun to read
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The Day We Redecorated Our House! : ) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Writing Challenge: Day 15 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Thursday, April 15th, 2021 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We used to have hamsters at home 13 years ago. We Usually past simple goes with "X years ago." |
|
Even though I didn't use to take care of them, but I thought they were very cute, especially their hand moves on their glass box trying to get out, but they always slipped down. |
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I used to call it the cleaning-window move :D I used to call it the window-cleaning |
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I never thought they save their food in their cheeks until I saw them doing that with my own eyes. |
|
They used to eat everything we put in their box very fast, be it corn or lettuce, but they would keep most of the food in their cheeks until they feel hungry again. They used to eat everything we put in their box very |
|
One day they ran away and the lady hamster was pregnant! One day they ran away, and the lady hamster was pregnant! "Lady hamster" sounded rather funny. "Female hamster" is better |
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It was around dawn, and I had just woke up and was having my tea in my room. It was around dawn, and I had just woken up and was having my tea in my room. |
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I thought I was dreaming when I saw a hamster at my room door. I thought I was dreaming when I saw a hamster at my room's door. Or just "at my door" |
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It was standing there rubbing their cheeks! |
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Two Seconds later made realize that it was real. |
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I panicked and didn't know what to do ;) The Pregnant hamster was nowhere to be found! I panicked and didn't know what to do ;) The |
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I had to go to work, but when I came back home, I found that my 2 hamsters became a family. |
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I believe she gave birth to 12 little hamsters. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
While this was good news, but the not-so-good part was that she gave birth to them under a very heavy China closet that we rarely move. |
|
We tried to put food for the new mother hamster, but unfortunately she was so afraid that she started eating her newborns, which was a huge shock for me. We tried to put out food for the new mother hamster, but unfortunately, she was so afraid that she started eating her newborns, which was a huge shock for me. Gahh that's awful! Usually you put something *somewhere* |
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I mean I heard before that cats could do that to their newborns but thought it was a myth. I mean, I had heard |
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With some extra help from the neighbours, we moved the China closet, and removed the whole hamster family -or what's left of them- to a new box. |
|
After that incident, we stopped keeping hamsters at home. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Things used to be easier when we kept just two male hamsters. Things Or "things had been easier." But this version is simpler. |
|
It's not an easy task to take care of a whole family, especially that they keep giving birth to 12 in each pregnancy ;D |
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Even though I didn't use to take care of them since they were my brother's, but I thought they were very cute, especially their hand moves on their glass box trying to get out, but slipping down everytime. Even though I didn't use to take care of them since they were my brother's, Even though X, Y or... X, but Y "Even though" and "but" don't go together. Hamsters have paws, not hands :) |
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I never thought that they save their food in their cheeks until I saw them doing that with my own eyes. I never thought that they saved their food in their cheeks until I saw them doing Or "until I saw it with my own eyes" |
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It was standing there rubbing its cheeks! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Two Seconds later I made sure that it was real. Two |
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I had to go to work, but when I came back home, I found that the 2 hamsters became a family. I had to go to work, but when I came back home, I found that the |
|
While this was good news, the not-so-good part was that she gave birth to them under a very heavy China closet that we rarely move. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
With some extra help from the neighbours, we moved the China closet, and moved the whole hamster family -or what's left of them- to a new box. With some extra help from the neighbours, we moved the China closet I replaced "moved" with "transferred" to remove redundancy. |
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It's not an easy task to take care of a hamster family, especially that they keep giving birth to 12 in each pregnancy ;D It's not an easy task to take care of a hamster family, especially given that they keep giving birth to 12 |
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