April 25, 2025
The bird of abundance - By Göbölyös Attila
Once upon a time, in a hidden village, where even the soil was poor, and the villagers couldn't make ends meet, a strange event happened. One day a bird with golden glimmering feather touched the main square of the village. Not only was the bird gorgeous, it was also magical: when it spoke, it seemed like the sparkling voice is throwing around hope and happiness.
There was fear in the villagers at first, but the bird's friendly trills were like it was trying to say:
Be not afraid, I came to help!
As they understood the bird's words, the oldest woman of the village, called Aunt Ilonka, decided to follow the bird. The bird brought a seed in it's beak, and dropped it to the ground. When it touched the soil, it instantly started sprouting, and grew into a beautiful wheatear, full of grown grains.
The bird brought new seeds every day, and rich crops grew everywhere, where they planted seeds. The soil of the village, which not so long ago was dead and poor, soon started to turn green, and vawed in golden yellow with the wind. The villagers were grateful to the bird, and took care of it as if it were their own family.
As time gone on, not only did the village become rich, but also happy. People understood, that the bird of abundance brought the power of community as well as the crops. Afterwards, they took care of each other, as much as they did of the soil. They helped the needy, shared their harvest with neighbouring villages, and every year organized celebrations for the honor of the bird.
One day, the bird decided to fly away, but before it dissappeared into the blueness of the sky, it trilled one last time:
- Richness not only lies in the harvest, but also in love and cohesion. Keep this treasure in safe hands.
The village flourished after the bird too, because people didn't forget it's values. When someone asked, why are they so happy, they always answered:
- Because we learned, that the real abundance is in our hearts.
Morals:
Richness and happiness not only lies in material values, but also in love, cohesion, and the ability to take care of each other.
A bőség madara - Göbölyös Attila
Egyszer volt, hol nem volt, egy eldugott kis faluban, ahol a föld szegényes volt, és az emberek épphogy megéltek, történt egy különös eset. Egy nap egy ragyogó, arany tollú madár szállt le a falu főterére. A madár nemcsak szép volt, hanem varázslatos is: amikor megszólalt, csilingelő hangja mintha reményt és boldogságot hintett volna szét.
A falusiak először félve közeledtek hozzá, de a madár barátságosan trillázott, mintha azt mondaná:
– Ne féljetek, segíteni jöttem!
A falu legidősebb embere, Ilonka néni, úgy döntött, hogy a madár szavait értelmezve követik, amit mondani akar. A madár a csőrében egy kis magot hozott, és azt a földre ejtette. Amikor a mag a talajba hullott, azonnal szárba szökkent, és gyönyörű búzakalász nőtt belőle, tele érett szemekkel.
A madár minden nap új magokat hozott, és mindenütt, ahol a magokat elvetették, bőséges termés nőtt. A falu földje, amely korábban szegényes és kopár volt, hamarosan zöldellt és aranysárgán hullámzott a szélben. Az emberek hálásak voltak a madárnak, és vigyáztak rá, mintha a saját családjuk tagja lenne.
Ahogy telt az idő, a falu nemcsak gazdaggá, hanem boldoggá is vált. Az emberek megértették, hogy a bőség madara nemcsak a termést, hanem a közösség erejét is elhozta nekik. Már nemcsak a földjükről gondoskodtak, hanem egymásról is. Segítettek a rászorulóknak, megosztották a termésüket a szomszédos falvakkal, és minden évben ünnepséget rendeztek a madár tiszteletére.
Egy nap a madár elrepült, de mielőtt eltűnt volna az égbolt kékjében, utoljára trillázott:
– A gazdagság nemcsak a termésben rejlik, hanem a szeretetben és az összetartásban. Őrizzétek meg ezt a kincset!
A falu ezután is virágzott, mert az emberek nem felejtették el a madár tanításait. És amikor valaki megkérdezte, hogy miért olyan boldogok, mindig azt válaszolták:
– Mert megtanultuk, hogy az igazi bőség a szívünkben van.
Tanulság
A gazdagság és boldogság nemcsak az anyagi javakban rejlik, hanem a szeretetben, az összefogásban és abban, hogy gondoskodunk egymásról.
The bird of abundance - By Göbölyös Attila
Once upon a time, in a hidden village, where even the soil was poor, and the villagers couldn't make ends meet, asomething strange event happened.
The way you wrote it isn't wrong, but I've corrected it to sound a little more natural.
One day a bird with golden glimmering feather toucheds flew into the main square of the village.
"Feathers" should be plural. "Touched" is an awkward verb to use here. Saying the bird "flew into" or "landed" in the square sounds much better.
Not only was the bird gorgeous, it was also magical: when it spoke, it seemed like the sparkling voice is throwing aroundwas emanating hope and happiness.
Saying "when it spoke" makes the sentence past tense, so you should use "was" instead of "is" later in the sentence.
"Throwing around" sounds awkward here. It's not wrong but saying something like "emanating" sounds a lot better.
There was fear in the villagers at first, but the bird's friendly trills were like it was trying to say: Be not afraid, I came to help!
As they understooheard the bird's words, the oldest woman of the village, called Aunt Ilonka, decided to follow the bird.
Again, just a correction to make it sound more natural. It's not wrong what you did.
The bird brought a seed in it's beak, and dropped it to the ground.
When it touched the soil, it instantly started sprouting, and grew into a beautiful wheatear, full of grown grains.
The bird brought new seeds every day, and rich crops grew everywhere, where they planted the seeds.
Sounds more natural.
The soil of the village, which not so long ago was dead and poor, soon started to turn green, and vawed(?) in golden yellow with the wind.
I'm not sure what meaning you are going for here, but "vawed" is not a word in English.
The villagers were grateful to the bird, and took care of it as if it were their own family.
As time gonewent on, not only did the village become rich, but also happy.
Use "went" for past tense.
People understood, that the bird of abundance brought the power of community as well as the crops.
Unnecessary punctuation.
Afterwards, they took care of each other, as much as they did of the soil.
More natural.
They helped the needy, shared their harvest with neighbouring villages, and every year organized celebrations for the honor of the bird.
One day, the bird decided to fly away, but before it dissappeared into the blueness of the sky, it trilled one last time:
¶
- Richness not only lies in the harvest, but also in love and cohesion.
Spelling
The village flourished after the bird had left too, because people didn't forget it's values.
More natural.
You should only use "it's" if saying "it is" instead would also make sense. Otherwise, use "its".
When someone asked, w"Why are they so happy,?" they always answered:
¶
- Because we learned, that the real abundance is in our hearts.
Corrected punctuation.
Morals: Richness and happiness not only lies in material values, but also in love, cohesion, and the ability to take care of each other.
Feedback
Great work! You conveyed meaning very effectively. It was very easy to understand what you were saying. Some of the word choice sounded a bit awkward, but you'll definitely start sounding more natural if you keep writing. Keep it going!
April 28, 2025
Thank you for your corrections and explanations! 😀
The bird of abundance - By Göbölyös Attila
Once upon a time, in a hidden village, where even the soil was poor, and the villagers couldn't make ends meet, a strange event happened.
One day a bird with golden glimmering feathers touched the main square of the village.
Not only was the bird gorgeous, it was also magical: when it spoke, it seemed like the sparkling voice is throwwas spreading around hope and happiness.
The bird brought a seed in it's beak, and dropped it to the ground.
it's -> it is
When it touched the soil, it instantly started sprouting, and grew into a beautiful ear of wheatear, full of fully-grown grains.
The bird brought new seeds every day, and rich crops grew everywhere, where they planted seeds.
The soil of the village, which not so long ago was dead and poor, soon started to turn green, and vawed in golden yellow with the wind.
Not sure what you mean with "vawed" but it's not a word I know
The villagers were grateful to the bird, and took care of it as if it were their own family.
As time gonewent on, not only did the village become rich, but also happy.
People understood, that the bird of abundance brought the power of community, as well as the crops.
Afterwards, they took care of each other, as much as they did of the soil.
They helped the needy, shared their harvest with neighbouring villages, and every year organized celebrations for thein honor of the bird.
One day, the bird decided to fly away, but before it dissappeared into the blueness of the sky, it trilled one last time:
¶
- Richness not only lies in the harvest, but also in love and cohesionmmunity.
cohesion is not wrong but sounds strange. Community fits better
The village flourished after the bird too, because people didn't forget it's values.
When someone asked, "why are they so happy,?" they always answered:
¶
- Because we learned, that the real abundance is in our hearts.
Either wrap the speech in quotes or change it to 'when someone asked whey they are so happy they...'
Morals:
¶
Richness and happiness not only lies in material values, but also in love, cohesionmmunity, and the ability to take care of each other.
Feedback
Regular misplacement of commas, so I'll share a 'rule': if the two parts of the sentence could be sentences on their own, use a comma. Otherwise do not use a comma.
Examples:
*Comma needed:* 'The village flourished after the bird too, because people didn't forget its values.'
Because you COULD write 'The village flourished after the bird, too. People didn't forget its values.'
*Comma forbidden:* 'The villagers were grateful to the bird and took care of it as if it were their own family. '
Because you CAN'T write 'The villagers were grateful to the bird. Took care of it as if it were their own family.
If you add 'they' then you use a comma: 'The villagers were grateful to the bird, and they took care of it as if it were their own family.'
Nice story!
April 25, 2025
Thank you for your corrections, especially for the advice on using commas!
Have a nice day!
|
The bird of abundance - By Göbölyös Attila This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Once upon a time, in a hidden village, where even the soil was poor, and the villagers couldn't make ends meet, a strange event happened. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Once upon a time, in a hidden village, where even the soil was poor, and the villagers couldn't make ends meet, The way you wrote it isn't wrong, but I've corrected it to sound a little more natural. |
|
One day a bird with golden glimmering feather touched the main square of the village. One day a bird with golden glimmering feathers touched the main square of the village. One day a bird with golden glimmering feather "Feathers" should be plural. "Touched" is an awkward verb to use here. Saying the bird "flew into" or "landed" in the square sounds much better. |
|
Not only was the bird gorgeous, it was also magical: when it spoke, it seemed like the sparkling voice is throwing around hope and happiness. Not only was the bird gorgeous, it was also magical: when it spoke, it seemed like the sparkling voice Not only was the bird gorgeous, it was also magical: when it spoke, it seemed like the sparkling voice Saying "when it spoke" makes the sentence past tense, so you should use "was" instead of "is" later in the sentence. "Throwing around" sounds awkward here. It's not wrong but saying something like "emanating" sounds a lot better. |
|
There was fear in the villagers at first, but the bird's friendly trills were like it was trying to say: Be not afraid, I came to help! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
As they understood the bird's words, the oldest woman of the village, called Aunt Ilonka, decided to follow the bird. As they Again, just a correction to make it sound more natural. It's not wrong what you did. |
|
The bird brought a seed in it's beak, and dropped it to the ground. The bird brought a seed in it it's -> it is This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
When it touched the soil, it instantly started sprouting, and grew into a beautiful wheatear, full of grown grains. When it touched the soil, it instantly started sprouting This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The bird brought new seeds every day, and rich crops grew everywhere, where they planted seeds. The bird brought new seeds every day, and rich crops grew everywhere The bird brought new seeds every day, and rich crops grew everywhere Sounds more natural. |
|
The soil of the village, which not so long ago was dead and poor, soon started to turn green, and vawed in golden yellow with the wind. The soil of the village, which not so long ago was dead and poor, soon started to turn green, and vawed in golden yellow with the wind. Not sure what you mean with "vawed" but it's not a word I know The soil of the village, which not so long ago was dead and poor, soon started to turn green, and vawed(?) in golden yellow with the wind. I'm not sure what meaning you are going for here, but "vawed" is not a word in English. |
|
The villagers were grateful to the bird, and took care of it as if it were their own family. The villagers were grateful to the bird This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
As time gone on, not only did the village become rich, but also happy. As time As time Use "went" for past tense. |
|
People understood, that the bird of abundance brought the power of community as well as the crops. People understood People understood Unnecessary punctuation. |
|
Afterwards, they took care of each other, as much as they did of the soil. Afterwards, they took care of each other, as much as they did of the soil. Afterwards, they took care of each other, as much as they did More natural. |
|
Keep this treasure in safe hands. |
|
They helped the needy, shared their harvest with neighbouring villages, and every year organized celebrations for the honor of the bird. They helped the needy, shared their harvest with neighbouring villages, and every year organized celebrations This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
One day, the bird decided to fly away, but before it dissappeared into the blueness of the sky, it trilled one last time: - Richness not only lies in the harvest, but also in love and cohesion. One day, the bird decided to fly away, but before it dissappeared into the blueness of the sky, it trilled one last time: cohesion is not wrong but sounds strange. Community fits better One day, the bird decided to fly away, but before it dis Spelling |
|
The village flourished after the bird too, because people didn't forget it's values. The village flourished after the bird too, because people didn't forget it The village flourished after the bird had left too, because people didn't forget it More natural. You should only use "it's" if saying "it is" instead would also make sense. Otherwise, use "its". |
|
When someone asked, why are they so happy, they always answered: - Because we learned, that the real abundance is in our hearts. When someone asked, "why are they so happy Either wrap the speech in quotes or change it to 'when someone asked whey they are so happy they...' When someone asked, Corrected punctuation. |
|
Morals: Richness and happiness not only lies in material values, but also in love, cohesion, and the ability to take care of each other. Morals: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium