June 16, 2025
Story of an average girl
Anju is the definition of a typical girl from a middle-class family with a lot of expectations and dreams to fulfill. She is an introvert and can't raise her voice because of the fact that she was told not to speak much in her childhood. Now she is facing an identity crisis in her youth and failing to cope with the modern dynamic society. She doesn't have a lot of friends and connections. So, despite being academically good, she is falling behind in her career. Also, her communication skills are dragging her behind. She just can't vibe with today's dynamic socializing platforms. These things are making her depressed with life, and frustrations are engulfing her. She is just hoping for someone to come into her life and rescue her from this miserable situation.
Story of an average girl
Anju is the definition of a typical girl from a middle-class family with a lot ofmany dreams and expectations and dreams to fulfill.
She is an introvert andwho can't raise her voice because of the fact that she was told not to speak much in her childhood.
You could replace "much" with a more descriptive word like "too loud" or you could replace "not to speak much" with "stay quiet".
Now, she is facing an identity crisis in her youth and, failing to cope with the modern dynamicfast-paced society.
Unsure if you mean dynamic as in "ever changing/fast-paced" or dynamic as in a social/cultural/interpersonal dynamic. If you mean the second you could say "the modern dynamics of society".
She doesn't have a lot ofmany friends andor connections.
So, despite beher outstanding academically goods, she i's falling behind in her career.
Also, her communication skills are dragghindering her behinddevelopment.
Honestly, I'd combine this sentence with the previous one since her poor communication skills are probably what's hindering her career.
She just can't vibe with today's dynamic socializing platforms.
Not sure what specific correction to make, it's grammatically correct but awkward and a bit too informal. Perhaps "She just can't keep up with all the information coming at her through social media." Although, this is still a bit out of place in the rest of the paragraph. Maybe, "She just can't keep up with the speed of communication through social media".
These things are making her depressed with life, and frustrations are engulfing hered with life.
She is just hoping for someone to come into her life and rescue her from this miserable situation.
This is a stylistic correction and not a grammatical one.
Feedback
Overall, this is pretty solid. As a paragraph of fiction, if you wanted to develop this further, you could try showing the specific ways she struggles to keep up with life around her through depicting specific struggles. Her agonizing over LinkedIn, her difficulties staying trendy and fitting in. You could show the reader a scene of her trying to use social media and getting frustrated with it. Even in a sentence like "every time she opens her phone the loud flashing videos overwhelm her immediately and she puts it down again." This will make your story more descriptive and give us a better feel for your character. I know some of that is limited by your language abilities though and you did a good job laying out her character even in a more linguistically simple way. Good job! Good luck, I'd be excited to see if you developed this story further.
Feedback
Its great youre working on your narrative (story telling) skills. However, try showing us, not telling us. YouTube this: Show not tell
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Story of an average girl This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Also, her communication skills are dragging her behind. Also, her communication skills are Honestly, I'd combine this sentence with the previous one since her poor communication skills are probably what's hindering her career. |
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She just can't vibe with today's dynamic socializing platforms. She just can't vibe with today's dynamic socializing platforms. Not sure what specific correction to make, it's grammatically correct but awkward and a bit too informal. Perhaps "She just can't keep up with all the information coming at her through social media." Although, this is still a bit out of place in the rest of the paragraph. Maybe, "She just can't keep up with the speed of communication through social media". |
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These things are making her depressed with life, and frustrations are engulfing her. These things are making her depressed |
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She is just hoping for someone to come into her life and rescue her from this miserable situation. She is This is a stylistic correction and not a grammatical one. |
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Anju is the definition of a typical girl from a middle-class family with a lot of expectations and dreams to fulfill. Anju is the definition of a typical girl from a middle-class family with |
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She is an introvert and can't raise her voice because of the fact that she was told not to speak much in her childhood. She is an introvert You could replace "much" with a more descriptive word like "too loud" or you could replace "not to speak much" with "stay quiet". |
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Now she is facing an identity crisis in her youth and failing to cope with the modern dynamic society. Now, she is facing an identity crisis Unsure if you mean dynamic as in "ever changing/fast-paced" or dynamic as in a social/cultural/interpersonal dynamic. If you mean the second you could say "the modern dynamics of society". |
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She doesn't have a lot of friends and connections. She doesn't have |
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So, despite being academically good, she is falling behind in her career. So, despite |
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