May 16, 2021
Quiet breakfast
Her quiet breakfast didn’t last for ten seconds. Marla didn’t like this nickname, but she was used to it. “ Monday morning! “ she said sarcastically.
“Come on! It's an exciting day. Your order is ready.” the girl grinned and opened wide eyes.
Her roommate, Scarlett, was a burly twenty-one year old girl, but had a very gentle nature. Her fair hair was trimmed short and disheveled. She had an attentive hazel gaze and fair skin. She moved skillfully in a manual wheelchair.
“Yeah, I am going to go get that up before my evening course” the brown-haired girl answered calmly.
Nevertheless she was very excited, but didn’t show her feelings. She saved money for a year for that sports prosthesis. It was the cheapest and most basic model, though she could run again. Sports were important for her before the accident and she missed athletic activity.
Her quiet breakfast didn’t even last for ten seconds.
Marla didn’t like this nickname, but she was used to it.
I am not sure what nickname is being referred to, but the sentence is correct
“ Monday morning!
“ she said sarcastically.
“Come on!
It's an exciting day.
Your order is ready.” tThe girl grinned and opened wide eyes.
Her fair hair was trimmed short and disheveleddisheveled and trimmed short.
Sentence was fine before, but sounds more natural in this order.
She had an attentive hazel gaze and fair skin.
She moved skillfully in a manual wheelchair.
“Yeah, I am going to go get that up before my evening course,” the brown-haired girl answered calmly.
Nevertheless s She was very excited, but didn’t show her feelings.
She had saved money for a year for that sports prosthesis.
sentence was fine, but adding the "had" makes it sound more natural
It was the cheapest and most basic model, thoughbut it meant she could run again.
Sports were important for her before the accident and she missed athletic activity.
Feedback
Most of my edits were to make it sound more natural -- grammar and spelling was great!
May 20, 2021
Thanks for your feedback and correction!
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Quiet breakfast |
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Her quiet breakfast didn’t last for ten seconds. Her quiet breakfast didn’t even last for ten seconds. |
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Marla didn’t like this nickname, but she was used to it. Marla didn’t like this nickname, but she was used to it. I am not sure what nickname is being referred to, but the sentence is correct |
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“ Monday morning! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“ she said sarcastically. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Come on! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's an exciting day. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Your order is ready.” the girl grinned and opened wide eyes. Your order is ready.” |
|
Her roommate, Scarlett, was a burly twenty-one year old girl, but had a very gentle nature. |
|
Her fair hair was trimmed short and disheveled. Her fair hair was Sentence was fine before, but sounds more natural in this order. |
|
She had an attentive hazel gaze and fair skin. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
She moved skillfully in a manual wheelchair. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Yeah, I am going to go get that up before my evening course” the brown-haired girl answered calmly. “Yeah, I am going to go get that |
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Nevertheless she was very excited, but didn’t show her feelings.
|
|
She saved money for a year for that sports prosthesis. She had saved money for a year for that sports prosthesis. sentence was fine, but adding the "had" makes it sound more natural |
|
It was the cheapest and most basic model, though she could run again. It was the cheapest and most basic model, |
|
Sports were important for her before the accident and she missed athletic activity. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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