Nowadays,more andIncreasingly, more children are enjoy anding playing video games.

This is how I would rewrite it to sound more formal and academic. If this is intended to be the title of your essay, I would suggest something like "Children and the Growing Popularity of Video Games."

Nowadays,an amountThese days, the number of children who spends more time on playing video games for entertaining is raiment is increasing. This essay will discuss both sides of the ongoing debate, whether parents should allow children to use video games as a form of solo entertainment.

These days sounds more formal than nowadays (nowadays is a bit informal and, for some, can be considered somewhat outdated). Ensure that you include spaces after commas (,) and periods (.). While the sentence was easy to understand, it is natural to say "the number of", "who spend more time playing", and "for entertainment is increasing" rather than what you had before. The second sentence is correct. I added the last part because it is usually good to explain what "both sides" is referring to.

One advantage of children playing video games is that they have more varioused entertainingment options. This means that they can have fun even if they don’t have partners to play with. For example, some parents are busy and don’t have time to play with their children, so they can give the children a phone. It makes theprevents children don’tfrom messing up a house, and also playing indoors can reduce the risk of kidnapping.

I can easily understand what you are saying in this part. There are a few grammatical errors. For the sentence that starts with "For example,...", I would write this as "For example, some parents have busy schedules that do not always allow for dedicated time to play with their children. In these situations, having a device for the children to entertain themselves with can help these parents manage busy days."

On the other hand, spending more time on playing video games means less time for physical activities. This means that children will be less active, which is a healthy trait at their age.Little Lowered physical activitiesy can lead to a weak immune system. For instance,the children who have excessive screen time are getting illnessmore likely to get ill when the weather changes easier thanthan those who don’t. Another negative consequence is that these children will bcould become emotionally detached from their families. This means that they may spend little time on family activities. For example, they may focus on themore on video games and neglect the conversation ofinteracting with family members.

The section was easy to understand; there were a few grammatical errors and a few parts that I changed to make it sound more natural. This sentence: "This means that children will be less active, which is a healthy trait at their age.", I would change to something like "Meaning, these children are physically less active, which can be detrimental to their health if a proper balance isn't achieved."

In conclusion, the downside of children playing video games is more concerneding than the benefit.Because even ifs. Although video games have some good points butadvantages, they are almostoften temporary solutions for parents who want their kids to play quietly without makcausing trouble.

For the first sentence, if you wanted, you could say instead, " In conclusion, the disadvantages of children playing video games far outweigh the advantages." This means there are more downsides to video games than benefits.

ButHowever, the disandvantage, especially when children play video games for a significant amount of time will, can badly eaffect their personality oin later life.

I would actually add this sentence to the section with the disadvantages. After the last sentence about the lack of interaction with family, I would add this sentence, and instead say, "A significant issue with excessive use of video games is that children may become addicted to them, and this could affect their personality negatively throughout their life."

Nowadays, more and more children enjoy and play video games.

Nowadays,an the amount of children who spends more time on playing video games for entertaining is raising.This essay will discuss both sidesment is increasing.

Every time you have punctuation while writing (periods. Commas, Question Marks? Exclamation Marks!) you should put a space between the punctuation and the following word.

For the sentence "This essay will discuss both sides.", grammatically this sentence is fine, but in context with the surrounding sentences it doesn’t make sense. If you wanted to keep it, you could say something to the effect of, "While the number of children playing video games increases, the advantages and disadvantages of this lifestyle are becoming apparent."

One advantage of children playing video games is that they have more varoptiouns for entertaining options.ment. This means that they can have fun even if they don’t have partnersanyone to play with. For example, some parents are busy and don’t have time to play with their children, so they can give the children a phone. to play with. It makes it so the children d won’'t mess up athe house, and also playing indoors can reduce the risk of kidnapping.

"partners" sounds strange in this context.

Adding a "comma," creates better flow and "to play with" ends the subject, object, verb conjugation at the end of the sentence.

The last sentence does sound strange as it is talking about two things which don't seem to be related.

On the other hand, spending more time on playing video games means less time for physical activities. This means that children will be less active, which is a healthy trait at their age.can result in health issues. Little physical activitiesy can lead to weakened immune system.For instance,the children who have excessives, as children who spend more time on screen times are getting illness when the weather changes easier than who don’t.sick more often than those with less. Another negative consequence is that children will be emotionally detached from their families.This mean that they, spending little time on family activities. For example, they might focus on theplaying video games and neglect the conversation ofquality time with family members.

For the second sentence, you are talking about children being less active and how that is a bad thing, the original phrasing could be misunderstood as ‘Children are less active and that is healthy.

For the third sentence, "weakened" sounds more formal in this context. You’re talking about multiple potential children so systems should be plural. I would also add this sentence to the next sentence.

Changed "For instance" to "as" to merge with the previous sentence. "sick" sounds better in this sentence, "when the weather changes" is redundant, and "more often than those with less" flows better.

Combined the two sentences "Another negative consequence..." and "This mean that they spending...".

Added ‘might’ since a lot of this is in the hypothetical tense.

In conclusion, the downsides of children playing video games is more concerned thanfar outweigh the benefit.Because es. Even if video games have some good points but they are almostqualities, they often serve as a temporary solutions for parents who want their kids to play quietly without making trouble.

“far outweigh the benefits" is a common phrase people use to convey what you’re trying to say.

It is a rule in written English not to start sentences with "Because". I think this serves as a fitting ending to your essay.

But the disanvantage especially when children play video games for significant amount of time will badly effect their personality on later life.

I would just delete this sentence.