Jan. 31, 2024
My old friend in an English lessen (34)
I had taken English lessens at an English school in my town about 10 years ago.
I took a group lessen with a man who works in a bakery.
I'd like to write about the memory with him today.
He was very shy, and didn't talk much, but when a teacher asked questions, he replied well.
He said that as he worked in a bakery, sometimes he bake cookies at home for his family.
The other day, he brought some cookies called "Biscotti" for our teacher and me.
It was so good, so I asked him the recipe.
It wasn't difficult for me to make, so I was able to make it at home.
After a while, he skipped some lessens frequently.
The teacher told me that he seemed like he wasn't feeling good.
I'm going to write the rest of this story tomorrow again because it's going to be long.
私は、10年位前私の町の英会話教室でレッスンを受けていました。
いつも、パン屋さんで働いている男の人と一緒にグループレッスンを受けました。
今日はその人との思い出について書きたいと思います。
彼は、とてもシャイであまりたくさん話しませんが、先生が質問した時には、ちゃんと答えました。
彼は、パン屋で働いていたので、たまに家族のために家でパンを焼くと、話してくれました。
ある日、彼は、私と先生にビスコッティというクッキーを焼いて持ってきてくれました。
それがとてもおいしかったので、彼にレシピを教えてもらいました。
そんなに難しくなかったので、私も家でそれを作ることができました。
しばらくたって、彼は、レッスンをちょくちょく休むようになりました。
先生は、体調が悪いらしいと教えてくれました。
長くなるのでこの続きは明日書きます。
My old friend in an English lesseon
I had taken English lesseons at an English school in my town about 10 years ago.
I took a group lessenons with a man who works/ed in a bakery.
I'd like to write about thea memory with him today.
He was very shy, and didn't talk much, but when a teacher asked questions, he replied well.
He said that, as/because he worked in a bakery, sometimes he baked cookies at home for his family.
The Another day, he brought some cookies called "Biscotti(s)" for our teacher and me.
If this is still in the past, "another day" works better. "The other day" would work if we're talking about a recent occurrence.
It was soreally good, so I asked him the recipe.
To avoid repetition of "so."
It wasn't difficult for me to make, so I was able to make it at home.
After a while, he skipped some lesseons more frequently.
The teacher told me that he seemed like he wasn't feeling good/well.
"Feeling good" is colloquially correct, but grammatically "well" should be used.
I'm going to write the rest of this story tomorrow again because it's going to be long.
Feedback
Well done! Biscottis are really good.
Feb. 1, 2024
Thank you so much as always! I have a sweet tooth(^-^)
My old friend inat an English lesseon
I had takentook English lesseons at an English school in my town about 10 years ago.
I took a group lesseon with a man who works inat a bakery.
"in a bakery" is ok but "at a bakery" is a little better.
I'd like to write about themy memory withies of him today.
More natural: "I'd like to write about him today"
He was very shy, and didn't talk much, but when a teacher asked questions, he replied well.
He said that as he worked in (or "at") a bakery, sometimes he baked cookies at home for his family.
More natural: He said that since he works at a bakery, sometimes he bakes cookies at home for his family
The othernext (?) day, he brought some cookies called "Biscotti" for our teacher and me.
"The other day" (先日）= recently. It doesn't make sense because you are talking about the past tense.
It was so good, so I asked him for the recipe.
It wasn'tdidn't sound difficult for me to make, so and I was able to make it at home.
After a while, he skipped sometarted skipping lesseons frequently.
The teacher told me that he seemed like he wasn't feeling good.
I'm going to write the rest of this story tomorrow again because it's going to be long.
Feedback
Nice job. I am curious about the rest of the story!
Jan. 31, 2024
I read your Japanese version of the story.
"ある日" = "one day"
"先日" = "the other day"
PS - Thank you for writing the story in Japanese too. It helps me learn Japanese and make better corrections =)
Feb. 1, 2024
Thank you so much for your correction!
I'm glad my Japanese helps you learn Japanese.
My old friend in an English lesseon
I had taken English lesseons at an English school in my town about 10ten years ago.
You can skip English to describe the lessons since you took them at an English school. It would be assumed from context. Although you can use 10 here, spelling out the word ten feels more natural to me.
I took a group lesseon with a man who works in a bakery.
He was very shy, and didn't talk much, but when a teacher asked questions, he replied well.
He said that asince he worked in a bakery, sometimes he baked cookies at home for his family.
The other day, he brought some cookies called "Biscotti" for our teacher and me.
It wasThey were so good, so I asked him for the recipe.
Cookies are plural so you want to use a plural pronoun and verb to match the cookies.
ItThe recipe wasn't difficult for me to make, so I was able to make it at home.
After a while, he began to skipped some lesseons frequently.
The teacher told me that he seemed like he wasn't feeling good.
I'm going to write the rest of this story tomorrow again because it's going to be long.
Feedback
I look forward to hearing what happened but I am worried about your baker friend. : (
Jan. 31, 2024
Thank you so much for your correction! I'm glad you like my story.
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I'd like to write about the memory with him today. I'd like to write about More natural: "I'd like to write about him today" I'd like to write about |
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He was very shy, and didn't talk much, but when a teacher asked questions, he replied well. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! He was very shy |
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He said that as he worked in a bakery, sometimes he bake cookies at home for his family. He said that He said that as he worked in (or "at") a bakery, sometimes he baked cookies at home for his family. More natural: He said that since he works at a bakery, sometimes he bakes cookies at home for his family He said that, as/because he worked in a bakery, sometimes he baked cookies at home for his family. |
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The other day, he brought some cookies called "Biscotti" for our teacher and me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! The "The other day" (先日）= recently. It doesn't make sense because you are talking about the past tense.
If this is still in the past, "another day" works better. "The other day" would work if we're talking about a recent occurrence. |
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It was so good, so I asked him the recipe.
Cookies are plural so you want to use a plural pronoun and verb to match the cookies. It was so good, so I asked him for the recipe. It was To avoid repetition of "so." |
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It wasn't difficult for me to make, so I was able to make it at home.
It This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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After a while, he skipped some lessens frequently. After a while, he began to skip After a while, he s After a while, he skipped |
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The teacher told me that he seemed like he wasn't feeling good. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! The teacher told me that he seemed like he wasn't feeling good/well. "Feeling good" is colloquially correct, but grammatically "well" should be used. |
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I'm going to write the rest of this story tomorrow again because it's going to be long. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My old friend in an English lessen My old friend in an English less My old friend My old friend in an English less |
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I had taken English lessens at an English school in my town about 10 years ago. I had taken You can skip English to describe the lessons since you took them at an English school. It would be assumed from context. Although you can use 10 here, spelling out the word ten feels more natural to me. I I had taken English less |
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I took a group lessen with a man who works in a bakery. I took a group less I took a group less "in a bakery" is ok but "at a bakery" is a little better. I took |
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My old friend in an English lessen (34) |
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