Dec. 18, 2023
My Friend who Loves Hawaiian Dance #1
This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 stories and post one by one.
I went to a Hawaiian dance festival last Sunday.
My friend was supposed to dance on the stage. Actually, she had a stroke three months ago and she has been in the hospital for three months.
She is still in the hospital, but she decided to join it. She talked about it with the doctor and he gave her a permission to stay outside the hospital overnight.
これは、ここでの私の初めての投稿です。そして長くなりそうなので3つに分けて投稿します。
先週の日曜日、ハワイアンダンスフェスティバルに行きました。
友達がそのステージで踊ることになっていました。実は、その友達は3か月前脳梗塞になり、それ以来3ヶ月間病院に入院しています。
彼女は、まだ入院中ですが、彼女は、そのフェスティバルに参加することに決めました。彼女は、それについてお医者さんと相談して一日外泊する許可をもらいました。
My Friend who Loves Hawaiian Dance #1
This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 stoentries and post them one by one.
I went to a Hawaiian dance festival last Sunday.
My friend was supposed to dance on the stage.
Actually, she had a stroke three months ago and she has been in the hospital for three months.
She is still in the hospital, but she decided to join itanyway.
She talked about it with the doctor and he gave her a permission to stay outside the hospital overnight.
Dec. 18, 2023
Thank you so much!ありがとうございます！
My Friend wWho Loves Hawaiian Dance #1
This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 stories and post one by one.
I went to a Hawaiian dance festival last Sunday.
My friend was supposed to dance on the stage.
Actually, she had a stroke three months ago and she has been in the hospital for three months.
She is still in the hospital, but she decided to join it.
She talked about it with the doctor and he gave her a permission to stay outside the hospital overnight.
Feedback
Your story is not very long, so it would be no problem to combine it into one post :) Hope your friend is doing well and recovers soon!
Dec. 18, 2023
Also, another person said not to capitalize the title, but that is wrong. We do capitalize almost all words in a title, or write it like a sentence. So, "My Friend Who Loves Hawaiian Dance #1" or "My friend who love Hawaiian Dance. #1" are both okay.
Dec. 18, 2023
I understand. Thank you so much for explaining it.
My Friend who Loves Hawaiian Dance #1
Normally you don’t capitalise every letter in the title.
This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 stories and post one by onat a time.
I went to a Hawaiian dance festival last Sunday.
My friend was supposed to dance on the stage.
Actually, she had had a stroke three months ago and she has been in the hospital for the past three months.
She is still in the hospital, but she decided to join it.
She talked about it with the doctor and he gave her a permission to stay outside the hospital overnight.
Dec. 18, 2023
Thank you so much!
This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 stories and post them one by one.
I went to a Hawaiian dance festival last Sunday.
My friend was supposed to dance on the stage.
Actually... but, she had a stroke three months ago and she has been in the hospital for three months.
"Actually" feels wrong here. Connecting with 'but' seems better since it emphasizes the conflict between the ideas.
She is still in the hospital, but she decided to join itcome anyway.
She talked about it with the doctor, and he gave her a permission to stay outside the hospital overnight.
Dec. 18, 2023
Thank you so much for the correction. ありがとうございました！
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My Friend who Loves Hawaiian Dance #1 My Friend who Loves Hawaiian Dance #1 Normally you don’t capitalise every letter in the title. My Friend This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 stories and post one by one. This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 stories and post them one by one. This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 stories and post one This sentence has been marked as perfect! This is my first entry here and it seems like it's going to be long, so I'm going to divide it into 3 |
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I went to a Hawaiian dance festival last Sunday. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My friend was supposed to dance on the stage. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Actually, she had a stroke three months ago and she has been in the hospital for three months.
"Actually" feels wrong here. Connecting with 'but' seems better since it emphasizes the conflict between the ideas. Actually, she had had a stroke three months ago and she has been in the hospital for the past three months. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Actually, she had a stroke three months ago and she has been in |
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She is still in the hospital, but she decided to join it. She is still in the hospital, but she decided to This sentence has been marked as perfect! She is still in the hospital, but she decided to join She is still in |
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She talked about it with the doctor and he gave her a permission to stay outside the hospital overnight. She talked about it with the doctor, and he gave her This sentence has been marked as perfect! She talked about it with the doctor and he gave her She talked about it with the doctor and he gave her |
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