My First Workplace

Jack

April 22, 2025

My first workplace was in a county situated in the eastern part of Anhui Province, about 200 kilometers from my hometown. The department I worked for was a government-funded institution named the Agricultural Machinery Training Class.

That county is situated in a hilly area, so the ground there is uneven. It’s lower in the southeast and higher in the northwest.

My office was in the northwest part of the county and consisted of a row of bungalows stretching from east to west, with about ten individual rooms.

Since it was a hilly area, the underground water was very deep, which made it difficult to fetch water. Therefore, my coworkers and I often collected rainwater for use.

There may have been one or two running taps, but somehow they seemed to be locked all the time. Sometimes, maybe they were unlocked, but there was no water at all.

There were not many people in my department, maybe only six or seven. One of our leaders lived in the department alone, just like us (that year, two new graduates were allocated to that department, and I was one of them), as his family was not in that county. We cooked food together.

Our work was not very busy as our task was only to conduct a few training sessions. The participants were agricultural machinery operators in that county.

I worked there for four years. At that time, I could only go back home during the traditional Chinese Spring Festival. In 1989, with the help of my relatives, I was transferred back to my hometown, Fuyang.

en 3

Correct

Corrections

Mod_John

My First Workplace

My first workplace was in a county situated in the eastern part of Anhui Province, about 200 kilometers from my hometown.

The department I worked for was a government-funded institution named the Agricultural Machinery Training Class.

That county is situated in a hilly area, so the ground there is uneven.

There's nothing inherently wrong with this sentence, but it sounds a little off (almost as if it's redundant to say "the ground there is uneven," as it's a given based on the fact that it's a hilly area. It's not actually redundant, but I don't know how else to describe it).

Suggestion:
"The ground in that county is uneven due to it being situated in a hilly area."

With this swapped word ordering, it's doesn't sound as "redundant" (again, I don't think that's the right word, but I don't know what else to say), since now we "learn" about "the ground being uneven" first, and then the fact that it is "hilly" later. This way, it's not as "obvious" that it's a "hilly area" based on the fact that "the ground is uneven" vs "the ground is uneven" based on the fact that it's a "hilly area."

It’s lower in the southeast and higher in the northwest.

My office was in the northwest part of the county and consisted of a row of bungalows stretching from east to west, with about ten individual rooms.

I don't think it makes sense to place a comma here, I can't explain it other than it "sounds better without it." To me, it sounds weirder to pause and then say "with about ten individual rooms," than to not pause.

Since it was a hilly area, the underground water was very deep, which made it difficult to fetch water.

Therefore, my coworkers and I often collected rainwater for use.

There may have been one or two running taps, but somehow they seemed to be locked all the time.

I'm not 100% sure what you mean by "the taps were locked." My best guess would be you meant "blocked/clogged" (meaning the water wouldn't come from the tap because the pipes were blocked/clogged). Otherwise, my second best guess would be that you mean the "room" to the taps were locked. Unfortunately your next sentence doesn't give me any hints either.

Sometimes, maybe, they were unlocked, but then there was no water at all.

Other suggestion:
"Sometimes they were unlocked, but then there was no water at all" (There's no differences between these 2 sentences in terms of subtleties, they mean the exact same thing, but the way it would be verbally spoken with a different number of pauses)

"Sometimes, maybe" just sounds very incorrect.

There were not many people in my department, maybe only six or seven.

One of our ~~lead~~managers lived in the department alone, (just like us, as (that year, two new graduates were ~~allocat~~moved to that department, and I was one of them), as his family was not in that county.

A few things:

A "leader" in this context is a little strange, a "manager" makes more sense. Some other possible words could be "bosses," "superiors," "the department heads."

The purpose of parentheses are to add extra information to the thing right before them in a way that (usually) doesn't flow to well otherwise. They are also meant to completely break the flow of the sentence, in the sense that, you as the reader, are meant to temporarily suspend what you were just reading, take a short pause, and read what's inside the parentheses (which are hopefully somewhat relevant to the the sentence), before resuming (and remembering) what you just read. They can also be used to "highlight" points that you think are important to the reader (similar to what I've been doing in this absurdly long explanation). That being said, the reasoning that I moved "just like us" into the parentheses was because it's contents were an aside to your "manager living alone in the department," rather than an aside to "just like us."

Finally, did you mean to say "apartment" instead of "department?" Or did your manager live in the same building that he worked at? I only ask because if you did mean "department," then that's not something that ever happens in America (sleeping in the same building you work (unless it a work from home job i guess)).

We cooked food together.

Our work was not very busy as our task was only to conduct a few training sessions.

The participants were the agricultural machinery operators in that county.

If the participants weren't the "only" agricultural machinery operators in that county, then the sentence should be:
"The participants were some of the agricultural machinery operators in that county"

The sentence doesn't sound right without the "the," but I can't quite put my finger on it ("I can't quite put my finger on it" is an idiom for "I can't find the answer" or
equivalent to "I can't pin it down").

I worked there for four years.

At thate time, I could only go back home during the traditional Chinese Spring Festival.

Optionally:
"During that time, I could only go back home during the traditional Chinese Spring Festival."

"At that time" should only be used for an instant in time, or a short period.

"At the time" can be used for a duration of time (usually "far enough" into the past (what ever "far enough" means)) and is actually a pretty common saying in English, especially when telling some about something that happened to you in the past (while they weren't there with you).

In 1989, with the help of my relatives, I was transferred back to my hometown, Fuyang.

Feedback

Great job! I had a lot of fun correcting this one because I felt like I was able to do a better job of explaining them. There were a few things that I struggled to understand, but I think you got your point across.

Jack

April 23, 2025

The tap may have been locked with a small iron box, but now I can’t remember the very details of how it was exactly locked.

Three of those bungalows together were our office while the others were used as “houses” for some employees who didn’t have houses in the county like me.

The head of the department in Chinese is 领导, which is commonly used to refer to the person who is in charge in a department, and it is translated to “leader” in English.

The participants were all from that county. Every county had that department to cater to the local agricultural machinery operators.

I am very happy to know the difference between “at that time” and “at the time”.

I really appreciate that you have put such great effort into helping me with my writing. Thank you very much.

Natkanatka

Thate county is situated in a ~~hilly~~mountainous area, so the ground there is uneven.

'Hilly' is okay to use however it is a bit chatty and instead mountainous sounds better.

There were not many people in my department, ~~maybe only~~only about six or seven.

If you are unsure about how many coworkers you had, it is better to use about because maybe and only do not match particularly well together

Jack

April 22, 2025

Thank you very much.

Craynier

My First Workplace

My first workplace was in a county situated in the eastern part of Anhui Province, about 200 kilometers from my hometown.

The department I worked for was a government-funded institution named the Agricultural Machinery Training Class.

That county is situated in a hilly area, so the ground there is uneven.

It’s lower in the southeast and higher in the northwest.

My office was in the northwest part of the county and consisted of a row of bungalows stretching from east to west, with about ten individual rooms.

Since it was a hilly area, the underground water was very deep, which made it difficult to fetch water.

Therefore, my coworkers and I often collected rainwater for use.

There may have been one or two running taps, but somehow they seemed to be locked all the time.

Sometimes, maybe they were unlocked, but there was no water at all.

There were not many people in my department, maybe only six or seven.

One of our leaders lived in the department alone, just like us (that year, two new graduates were allocated to that department, and I was one of them), as his family was not in that county.

We cooked food together.

Our work was not very busy as our task was only to conduct a few training sessions.

The participants were agricultural machinery operators in that county.

I worked there for four years.

At that time, I could only go back home during the traditional Chinese Spring Festival.

In 1989, with the help of my relatives, I was transferred back to my hometown, Fuyang.

Feedback

Perfect! No mistakes. Well-written!

Jack

April 24, 2025

Thank you very much.

My First Workplace