Sept. 8, 2025
My Father
In the third year after I started working, I went to Shanghai to visit my father. It was my first time in Shanghai because my father was hospitalized there.
My father had worked for the local government since I was born. When I was old enough to remember things, he was already frail and often took Chinese medicine because of stomach discomfort.
The local township government was not far from our village, only about one or two kilometers away. He returned home almost every day after work to help our family with farm work.
He loved Chinese culture. He practiced Chinese calligraphy whenever he had time and enjoyed traditional Chinese poetry, knowing many poems by heart.
He often told me about the importance of studying, saying, “Studying can change people’s destiny and bring them anything they want.”
In the fifth year after his retirement, he fell ill. At first, I didn’t know what disease he had; I only knew he was sick, and my eldest brother took him to Shanghai for a diagnosis. He hadn’t returned home since.
At that time, I was working in another city. For some reason, I had a bad premonition about my father’s illness. I bought beef and eggs to bring to him, but strangely, at the train station square where I was about to depart, the eggs suddenly fell and broke.
After arriving in Shanghai and seeing my father, I learned from my eldest brother (who was a military officer in Shanghai at the time) that my father had advanced cancer and was terminally ill, with no possibility of recovery.
We took our father home—a railway between Shanghai and our hometown had been completed not long before. Knowing what awaited him, we felt helpless and deeply saddened.
About three months later, my father passed away. At that moment, it felt like the sky had fallen, and I could no longer see him. I cried loudly, overwhelmed with despair. It was the first time I had lost a loved one.
After my father’s death, I returned to my workplace and fell ill myself for about six months. Even now, I sometimes dream of him and wonder where he is and how he has been, even though he passed away years ago.
In the third3 years after I started working, I went to Shanghai to visit my father.
more natural phrasing
It was my first time in Shanghai. I went because my father was hospitalized there.
I understand what you're saying, but if you read this sentence, it seems like it was your first time in Shanghai (instead of a 2nd or 3rd time) because your father was hospitalized (so it is confusing to read). I would make this 2 sentences.
My father had worked for the local government since I was born.
When I was old enough to remember things, he was already frail and often took Chinese medicine because of stomach discomfort.
The local township government was not far from our village, only about one or two kilometers away.
He returned home almost every day after work to help our family with farm work.
He loved Chinese culture.
He practiced Chinese calligraphy whenever he had time and enjoyed traditional Chinese poetry, knowing many poems by heart.
He often told me about the importance of studying, saying, “Studying can change people’s destiny and bring them anything they want.” In the fifth year after his retirement, he fell ill. At first, I didn’t know what disease he had; I only knew he was sick, and my eldest brother took him to Shanghai for a diagnosis.
He hadn’t returned home since.
At that time, I was working in another city.
For some reason, I had a bad premonition about my father’s illness.
I bought beef and eggs to bring to him, but strangely, at the train station square where I was about to depart, the eggs suddenly fell and broke.
After arriving in Shanghai and seeing my father, I learned from my eldest brother (who was a military officer in Shanghai at the time) that my father had advanced cancer and was terminally ill, with no possibility of recovery.
We took our father home—a railway between Shanghai and our hometown had been completed not long before.
Knowing what awaited him, we felt helpless and deeply saddened.
About three months later, my father passed away.
At that moment, it felt like the sky had fallen, and I could no longer see him.
I cried loudly, overwhelmed with despair.
It was the first time I had lost a loved one.
After my father’s death, I returned to my workplace and fell ill myself for about six months.
Even now, I sometimes dream of him and wonder where he is and how he has been, even though he passed away years ago.
Sept. 8, 2025
Thank you very much.
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He often told me about the importance of studying, saying, “Studying can change people’s destiny and bring them anything they want.” In the fifth year after his retirement, he fell ill. At first, I didn’t know what disease he had; I only knew he was sick, and my eldest brother took him to Shanghai for a diagnosis. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He hadn’t returned home since. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
At that time, I was working in another city. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
For some reason, I had a bad premonition about my father’s illness. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I bought beef and eggs to bring to him, but strangely, at the train station square where I was about to depart, the eggs suddenly fell and broke. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
After arriving in Shanghai and seeing my father, I learned from my eldest brother (who was a military officer in Shanghai at the time) that my father had advanced cancer and was terminally ill, with no possibility of recovery. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
We took our father home—a railway between Shanghai and our hometown had been completed not long before. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Knowing what awaited him, we felt helpless and deeply saddened. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
About three months later, my father passed away. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
At that moment, it felt like the sky had fallen, and I could no longer see him. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I cried loudly, overwhelmed with despair. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It was the first time I had lost a loved one. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
After my father’s death, I returned to my workplace and fell ill myself for about six months. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Even now, I sometimes dream of him and wonder where he is and how he has been, even though he passed away years ago. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
My Father |
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In the third year after I started working, I went to Shanghai to visit my father.
more natural phrasing |
|
It was my first time in Shanghai because my father was hospitalized there. It was my first time in Shanghai. I went because my father was hospitalized there. I understand what you're saying, but if you read this sentence, it seems like it was your first time in Shanghai (instead of a 2nd or 3rd time) because your father was hospitalized (so it is confusing to read). I would make this 2 sentences. |
|
My father had worked for the local government since I was born. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
When I was old enough to remember things, he was already frail and often took Chinese medicine because of stomach discomfort. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The local township government was not far from our village, only about one or two kilometers away. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He returned home almost every day after work to help our family with farm work. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He loved Chinese culture. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He practiced Chinese calligraphy whenever he had time and enjoyed traditional Chinese poetry, knowing many poems by heart. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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