Jack's avatar
Jack

June 23, 2021

0
Journal

In the early 90's, I had just worked for several years and my younger sister lived with me. She didn't have a job and the clothing store was mainly for her. I got married back then, so we three people ran the store together. We bought clothes from Hanzheng street in Wuhan, in Hubei province. The street was very famous for its commercial wholesale at that time. We bought those clothes just according to our personal preference and the seasons. The transportation and the security of society were not good back then. To save time, we usually take the night bus to Wuhan. To protect the passengers, the bus owner hired a strong man holding a thick iron stick sitting on the front door in case the robbers. It was said that some people in some areas in Henan province would rob the bus during the night, though I have never experienced that situation. Maybe after three years, my sister got a job, so we closed the store.
I have ridden a bicycle for about one year. Yes, cycling brings me a lot of joy. Sometimes I almost don't want to get off it. I once tried walking, but I don't think my legs could stand it. My legs often hurt if I walked a little long. My first bicycle is a stable speed common bicycle. The one I was riding recently is a variable speed one, and I have other variable speed ones. If you were in China, no doubt I could give it to you.
From your response, I know we are both happy people and have smart points towards life. This attitude is very precious that nothing can compare. So living healthily and happily is our ultimate goal. (I don’t intend to join competitive cycling because I am not a young man, but if there is competitive cycling for old people, I don’t think I will decline it.)

Corrections

Journal

In the early '90's, I had justonly been workeding for severala few years, and my younger sister lived with me.

Comma between independent clauses. Never put an apostrophe in a decade name (60s, 70s, 80s, 90s). A lot of English speakers actually don't know this ;)

She didn't have a job, and the clothing store was mainly for her.

I got married back then, so wthe three peopleof us ran the store together.

This version sounds more natural to me.

We bought clothes fromon Hanzheng street in Wuhan, in Hubei province.

Always use the preposition "on" with streets, avenues, roads, etc.

The street was very famous for its commercial wholesale at that time.

We bought those clothes just according to our personal preference and the seasons.

The transportation and the security of society were not good back then.

To save time, we usually takeook the night bus to Wuhan.

To protect the passengers, the bus owner hired a strong man holding a thick iron stick sitting on the front door in case the robbers came.

"Robbers," not "the robbers," because you're describing any robbers who might show up, not specific robbers.

It was said that some people in some areas in Henan province would rob the bus during the night, though I have never experienced that situation.

More natural: "though that had never happened to me."

Maybe afterAfter about three years, my sister got a job, so we closed the store.

Sounds more natural.

I have ridden a bicycle for about one year.

This makes it sound like you've been on the same bike for a year nonstop. I would say, "I've been riding my bike for about a year."

Yes, cycling brings me a lot of joy.

Sometimes I almost don't want to get off itstop.

Sounds more natural.

I once tried walking, but I doidn't think my legs could stand it.

Keep tenses consistent ("tried" = past, so "didn't" should be past, too).

My legs often hurt if I walked a littlefor too long.

The phrase "a little long" isn't really used.

My first bicycle iwas a stable -speed common bicycle.

"First bicycle" implies that you've had other bicycles since then, so I'd use the past tense.

The one I was riding recently is a variable speed one, and I have other variable speed ones, too.

If you were in China, no doubt I could give it to you.

From your response, I know we are both happy people and have smart points towards life.

Not sure what you mean by "smart points towards life?" Maybe "wise attitudes towards life?"

This attitude is very precious that nothing can compare.

I understand what you're saying, but this sounds unnatural. I would say, "This attitude is invaluable."
Invaluable = extremely useful; indispensable

So living healthily and happily is our ultimate goal.

(I don’t intend to join competitive cycling because I am not a young man, but if there is competitive cycling for old people, I don’t think I will decline wouldn't turn down the opportunity.)

Sounds more natural.

Jack's avatar
Jack

July 5, 2021

0

Thank you very much. (yes, this attitude towards life is invaluable)

Journal


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

In the early 90's, I had just worked for several years and my younger sister lived with me.


In the early '90's, I had justonly been workeding for severala few years, and my younger sister lived with me.

Comma between independent clauses. Never put an apostrophe in a decade name (60s, 70s, 80s, 90s). A lot of English speakers actually don't know this ;)

She didn't have a job and the clothing store was mainly for her.


She didn't have a job, and the clothing store was mainly for her.

I got married back then, so we three people ran the store together.


I got married back then, so wthe three peopleof us ran the store together.

This version sounds more natural to me.

We bought clothes from Hanzheng street in Wuhan, in Hubei province.


We bought clothes fromon Hanzheng street in Wuhan, in Hubei province.

Always use the preposition "on" with streets, avenues, roads, etc.

The street was very famous for its commercial wholesale at that time.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

We bought those clothes just according to our personal preference and the seasons.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The transportation and the security of society were not good back then.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

To save time, we usually take the night bus to Wuhan.


To save time, we usually takeook the night bus to Wuhan.

To protect the passengers, the bus owner hired a strong man holding a thick iron stick sitting on the front door in case the robbers.


To protect the passengers, the bus owner hired a strong man holding a thick iron stick sitting on the front door in case the robbers came.

"Robbers," not "the robbers," because you're describing any robbers who might show up, not specific robbers.

It was said that some people in some areas in Henan province would rob the bus during the night, though I have never experienced that situation.


It was said that some people in some areas in Henan province would rob the bus during the night, though I have never experienced that situation.

More natural: "though that had never happened to me."

Maybe after three years, my sister got a job, so we closed the store.


Maybe afterAfter about three years, my sister got a job, so we closed the store.

Sounds more natural.

I have ridden a bicycle for about one year.


I have ridden a bicycle for about one year.

This makes it sound like you've been on the same bike for a year nonstop. I would say, "I've been riding my bike for about a year."

Yes, cycling brings me a lot of joy.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Sometimes I almost don't want to get off it.


Sometimes I almost don't want to get off itstop.

Sounds more natural.

I once tried walking, but I don't think my legs could stand it.


I once tried walking, but I doidn't think my legs could stand it.

Keep tenses consistent ("tried" = past, so "didn't" should be past, too).

My legs often hurt if I walked a little long.


My legs often hurt if I walked a littlefor too long.

The phrase "a little long" isn't really used.

My first bicycle is a stable speed common bicycle.


My first bicycle iwas a stable -speed common bicycle.

"First bicycle" implies that you've had other bicycles since then, so I'd use the past tense.

The one I was riding recently is a variable speed one, and I have other variable speed ones.


The one I was riding recently is a variable speed one, and I have other variable speed ones, too.

If you were in China, no doubt I could give it to you.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

From your response, I know we are both happy people and have smart points towards life.


From your response, I know we are both happy people and have smart points towards life.

Not sure what you mean by "smart points towards life?" Maybe "wise attitudes towards life?"

This attitude is very precious that nothing can compare.


This attitude is very precious that nothing can compare.

I understand what you're saying, but this sounds unnatural. I would say, "This attitude is invaluable." Invaluable = extremely useful; indispensable

So living healthily and happily is our ultimate goal.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

(I don’t intend to join competitive cycling because I am not a young man, but if there is competitive cycling for old people, I don’t think I will decline it.)


(I don’t intend to join competitive cycling because I am not a young man, but if there is competitive cycling for old people, I don’t think I will decline wouldn't turn down the opportunity.)

Sounds more natural.

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