It Doesn’t Make Sense to Give Up

Just about everything I heard from people around me half of my life turned out to be untruth. Sure, not everything, but a great deal of it. I was told that if I finish the university, I get any job I choose. I was taught that girls should be calm and polite, that they have to wait for their “prince”; otherwise, they’ll stay alone and in despair. I was told that the world is a friendly place, full of people who are ready to help and resolve all my problems. Overall, all these maxims proved to be false, and I had to come face to face with this fact by myself.

As it turns out, this world is not that good. Sure, some people with privileges — like a rich family, for example — may believe our planet is like a truth heaven on earth; yet I don’t consider it to be truth. There’re crimes and inequality, generalized poverty and violence. While factories are killing the planet, our presidents are killing people in wars. Corporations are gathering our data, waiting for the momentum to sell it to other corporations. We’ve endured COVID, and now some of us are enduring high prices for products, low wages, health problems, the list goes on. So what are the chances that we keep our sanity in the world as it is now? Don’t ask me.

Put it another way, believing in the idea of a "friendly world” seems ridiculous to me today. Which is to say, not the happiest news. All that said, I don’t mean we have to give up and look how the world is deteriorating, eating popcorn and throwing in ironic comments about the futility of it all. It’s not really worth it, sinking into despair and waiting for our end on this planet. What I suggest is quite the opposite — we need to learn to live even at a complete loss of resources, meaning learn how to rely on ourselves.

Was I happy when I figured out that the world was not going to shower me with outrageous bonuses? Not at all. Was I frustrated when it turned out that people around me couldn’t answer the question of how I should live my life? Of course yes. Though many of them have trouble understanding how they should live their own lives. Long story short, at a certain point it turned out to me that no one except me really care about my future. More so, not only does nobody care, but some of the people back then was deliberately trying to hinder me from having a happy life. With that said, I could have become a depressed and unfriendly person. Fortunately, somehow I didn’t.

Realizing that people don’t care that much about me made me reconsider my values and attitudes toward life. I stopped dreaming of magical helpers who would come and resolve all my problems; instead, I started thinking about ways of creating the life that I want by myself. At the end of the day, if we don't care about ourselves, who will?

No doubt, it takes a great deal of courage to admit that our lives depend only on ourselves. But without realizing it, we are doomed to repeat our mistakes and be chronically unsatisfied. We can’t stop other people doing what they do, nor can we force them to do something in the matter of our happiness. All the same, shifting our focus from others to ourselves and committing to taking responsibility for our lives is what we can do. Do I know how to deal with all my problems and dilemmas? Maybe I know how to tackle all my troubles and doubts? The answer is no. But at least I don’t try to hand all that over to somebody else.

Having found ourselves in a place of frustration, we’re still able to look inside and find the courage to act against this emotion, and live according to our convictions. Being exhausted and feeling tired, we’re still able to believe in our intentions and meet daily obstacles with a smile. Even in the face of harsh life experiences, many of us are still hoping to be improving their lives, and we should honoring them — and us — for our hard work. Accepting our imperfection and limited resources could mean suffering from these reality, but by making this, we just in the same way embracing ourselves and learn to draw strength from inside, just like from each other.

Just about everything I have heard from people around me for half of my life has turned out to be untrue. Sure, not everything, but a great deal of it. I was told that if I finish university, I could get any job I choose. I was taught that girls should be calm and polite, that they have to wait for their “prince”; otherwise, they’ll stay alone and in despair. I was told that the world is a friendly place, full of people who are ready to help and resolve all my problems. Overall, all these maxims proved to be false, and I had to come face to face with this fact by myself.

As it turns out, this world is not that good. Sure, some people with privileges — like a rich family, for example — may believe our planet is like a truly heaven on earth; yet I don’t consider it to be the truth. There are crimes and inequality, generalized poverty and violence. While factories are killing the planet, our presidents are killing people in wars. Corporations are gathering our data, waiting for the right moment to sell it to other corporations. We’ve endured COVID, and now some of us are enduring high prices for products, low wages, health problems, the list goes on. So what are the chances that we keep our sanity in the world as it is now? Don’t ask me.

Put it another way, believing in the idea of a "friendly world” seems ridiculous to me today. Which is to say, not the happiest news. All that said, I don’t mean we have to give up and watch how the world deteriorate, eating popcorn and throwing in ironic comments about the futility of it all. It’s not really worth it, sinking into despair and waiting for our end on this planet. What I suggest is quite the opposite — we need to learn to live even at a complete loss of resources, to learn how to rely on ourselves.

Was I happy when I figured out that the world was not going to shower me with outrageous bonuses? Not at all. Was I frustrated when it turned out that people around me couldn’t answer the question of how I should live my life? Of course yes. Though many of them have trouble understanding how they should live their own lives. Long story short, at a certain point it turned out to me that no one except myself really cares about my future. More so, not only does nobody care, but some of the people back then were deliberately trying to hinder me from having a happy life. With that said, I could have become a depressed and unfriendly person. Fortunately, somehow I didn’t.

Realizing that people don’t care that much about me made me reconsider my values and attitudes toward life. I stopped dreaming of magical helpers who would come and resolve all my problems; instead, I started thinking about ways of creating the life that I want by myself. At the end of the day, if we don't care about ourselves, who will?

No doubt, it takes a great deal of courage to admit that our lives depend only on ourselves. But without realizing it, we are doomed to repeat our mistakes and be chronically unsatisfied. We can’t stop other people from doing what they are going to do, nor can we force them to do something for the sake of our happiness. All the same, shifting our focus from others to ourselves and committing to taking responsibility for our own lives is what we can do. Do I know how to deal with all my problems and dilemmas? Maybe I know how to tackle all my troubles and doubts? The answer is no. But at least I don’t try to hand all that over to somebody else.

Having found ourselves in a place of frustration, we’re still able to look inside and find the courage to act against this emotion, and live according to our convictions. Being exhausted and feeling tired, we’re still able to believe in our intentions and meet daily obstacles with a smile. Even in the face of harsh life experiences, many of us are still hoping to improve our lives, and we should honor each other — and ourselves — for our hard work. Accepting our imperfection and limited resources could mean suffering from these realities, but by doing this, we are at the same time embracing ourselves and learning to draw strength from inside, just as we might draw strength from each other.