How to cope with self-blaming

HelenSnow

Sept. 20, 2025

How to cope with self-blaming

I tend to blame myself and worry. Sometimes it does interfere with focusing on work. But I've come up with some ideas about how to cope with it this week.

1. Blame yourself for blaming
I have my own criteria of professionalism. One of them is total concentration on work. You mustn't get distracted. When I'm criticizing myself, I stop and ask: "What are you thinking about, a current task? No, you are not. You are thinking about rubbish. A professional doesn't get distracted, so focus on your task.

2. Any results exist independently
I've decided to praise and blame myself for process, not for result. For example, I should be praised because I really tried to make a code better. However, when I switch to another task I shouldn't care about the result of the previous one. I should be focused on a current task and on the moment. It applies to everything, even to my texts here. Maybe I made a lot of mistakes, maybe I was too sincere, maybe I wrote nonsense. It doesn’t matter anymore. Texts were written and now exist independently. All I should do is to remember mistakes and try to avoid making them in the future.

3. Determination and variants
If I were fired, I would look for another job. But even if I had to do something else, like mopping floors, I would program anyway. I would code less because of an unrelated job but still. So the dismissal wouldn't change a lot.

4. Unavoidable death
What's the worst thing that could happen to me at work? The dismissal? Can it compare to senseless existence and unavoidable death? Of course, not.

Perhaps, somebody will find it helpful.

en 1

Correct

Corrections

kevino

How to cope with self-blaming

I tend to blame myself and worry.

Sometimes it does interfere with focusing on work.

But I've come up with some ideas about how to cope with it this week.

Blame yourself for blaming ¶
I have my own criteria of professionalism.

I'm unsure what is trying to be said here. Maybe rephrase.

When I'm criticizing myself, I stop and ask: "What are you thinking about~~, a~~? The current task?

It's two separate questions. Or you can combine: "Are you thinking about the task at hand?"

No, you are not.

You are thinking about rubbish.

A professional doesn't get distracted, so focus on your task.

Any results exist independently .¶
I've decided to praise and blame myself for process, not for results.

For example, I should be praised because I really tried to make a code better.

However, when I switch to another task I shouldn't care about the result of the previous one.

I should be focused on athe current task a~~nd on~~t theat moment.

It applies to everything, even to my texts here.

Maybe I made a lot of mistakes, maybe I was too sincere, maybe I wrote nonsense.

It doesn’t matter anymore.

Texts were written and now exist independently.

All I should do is to remember mistakes and try to avoid making them in the future.

Determination and variants .¶
If I were fired, I would look for another job.

But even if I had to do something else, like mopping floors, I would program anyway.

I would code less because of an unrelated job but still.

So the dismissal wouldn't change a lot.

Unavoidable death .¶
What's the worst thing that could happen to me at work?

The dismissal?

Can it compare to a senseless existence and unavoidable death?

Of course, not.

Perhaps, somebody will find it helpful.

Feedback

Nice work. Don't forget to be kind to yourself.

HelenSnow

Sept. 22, 2025

Thank you💜

How to cope with self-blaming