April 28, 2025
Going To A Technical Secondary School
At the end of August in 1982, I was admitted to a specialized technical secondary school, which meant I was going to be a government employee after graduation.
That school was situated in my hometown, Fuyang, which is about eighty kilometers from my village.
Before I started going to that school, I needed to go through a lot of formalities. I went to my county town and did them myself.
At the beginning of September, I went to that school by bus. The first trip was from my hometown to my county town and the second trip was from my county town to Fuyang where the school was.
I took a blanket and some daily supplies. When I arrived at Fuyang at the place where I got off the bus, I saw a truck sent by the school to pick me and other new students up.
A few students were already in that truck. They had gone to the school earlier than us, so they were there to pick us up. They helped us get in. The truck's cargo compartment is open-air and has no cabin.
About thirty minutes after I arrived at the city, we started to drive to the school. We arrived at our new school in ten minutes. The school was situated in the north of the city, a few kilometers from the city center in a suburban area.
Well, that is all for today. I will see you guys soon with the next one.
At the beginning of September, I went to thate school by bus.
At this point in the story, it's more natural to imply which school you're talking about and refer to it as "the" school. What you have is also fine though.
The first trip was from my hometown to my county town and the second trip was from my county town to Fuyang where the school was.
Since you refer to your "first" trip, when you mention "second" it can be implied that you're referencing the second trip without explicitly stating it, which sounds more natural
A few students were already in thate truck.
Again, it's more natural to simply refer to it as "the" truck at this point. It would be necessary to use "that" if you were referring to it in relation to other trucks in the story.
Feedback
Really good job, you could get by without any of corrections for the most part
yesterday
Thank you very much.
Going To A Technical Secondary School
At the end of August in 1982, I was admitted to a specialized technical secondary school, which meant I was going to be a government employee after graduation.
That school was situated in my hometown, Fuyang, which is about eighty kilometers from my village.
Before I could started going to that school, I needed to go through a lot of formalities.
I went to my county town and did them myself.
At the beginning of September, I went to that school by bus.
The first tripleg of the journey was from my hometown to my county town, and the second trip was from my county town to Fuyang, where the school was.
"journey" would be more appropriate than "trip", as trips are typically short and done for pleasure. Also, both bus rides are parts of the same journey to the school, so I think it'd be better to call them "leg[s] of the journey". When you write "first trip" and "second trip", it sounds like the two rides were completely separate.
I tookbrought a blanket and some daily supplies.
"brought" has the extra meaning of "took and went".
When I arrived atin Fuyang at the place where Ind got off the bus, I saw a truck sent by the school to pick me and other new students up.
"at the place where I got off the bus" is a little redundant, because where else would you be? If you just write "and got off the bus" instead, it's implied that you were standing at place you got off, since you make no mention of moving anywhere else.
Also, "arrive in" is generally used when speaking about cities, towns, countries, and other larger areas, whereas "arrive at" is used when talking about buildings.
A few students were already in that truck.
They had gone to the school earlier than us, so they were there to pick us up.
They helped us get in.
The truck's cargo compartment iwas open-air and hasd no cabin.
Be mindful of tense.
About thirty minutes after I arrived atin the city, we started to drive to the school.
We arrived at our new school in ten minutes.
The school was situated in the north of the city, a few kilometers from the city center in a suburban area.
Well, that is all for today.
I will see you guys soon with the next one.
yesterday
Thank you very much.
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They helped us get in. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The truck's cargo compartment is open-air and has no cabin. The truck's cargo compartment Be mindful of tense. |
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About thirty minutes after I arrived at the city, we started to drive to the school. About thirty minutes after I arrived |
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We arrived at our new school in ten minutes. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The school was situated in the north of the city, a few kilometers from the city center in a suburban area. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Well, that is all for today. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I will see you guys soon with the next one. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Going To A Technical Secondary School This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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At the end of August in 1982, I was admitted to a specialized technical secondary school, which meant I was going to be a government employee after graduation. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That school was situated in my hometown, Fuyang, which is about eighty kilometers from my village. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Before I started going to that school, I needed to go through a lot of formalities. Before I could start |
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I went to my county town and did them myself. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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At the beginning of September, I went to that school by bus. This sentence has been marked as perfect! At the beginning of September, I went to th At this point in the story, it's more natural to imply which school you're talking about and refer to it as "the" school. What you have is also fine though. |
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The first trip was from my hometown to my county town and the second trip was from my county town to Fuyang where the school was. The first "journey" would be more appropriate than "trip", as trips are typically short and done for pleasure. Also, both bus rides are parts of the same journey to the school, so I think it'd be better to call them "leg[s] of the journey". When you write "first trip" and "second trip", it sounds like the two rides were completely separate. The first trip was from my hometown to my county town and the second Since you refer to your "first" trip, when you mention "second" it can be implied that you're referencing the second trip without explicitly stating it, which sounds more natural |
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I took a blanket and some daily supplies. I "brought" has the extra meaning of "took and went". |
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When I arrived at Fuyang at the place where I got off the bus, I saw a truck sent by the school to pick me and other new students up. When I arrived "at the place where I got off the bus" is a little redundant, because where else would you be? If you just write "and got off the bus" instead, it's implied that you were standing at place you got off, since you make no mention of moving anywhere else. Also, "arrive in" is generally used when speaking about cities, towns, countries, and other larger areas, whereas "arrive at" is used when talking about buildings. |
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A few students were already in that truck. This sentence has been marked as perfect! A few students were already in th Again, it's more natural to simply refer to it as "the" truck at this point. It would be necessary to use "that" if you were referring to it in relation to other trucks in the story. |
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They had gone to the school earlier than us, so they were there to pick us up. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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