Frustated

Miya_Miya

April 6, 2021

I feel frustrated right now. What's the point of write here? I'll never be enough.
In Spanish there's a lot of ways to say the same, in English I can't do it. Why do I write here?
I must to learn basics first.

I'm angry, I'm disapointed. Can I just write one sentence fine? Can I do something fine?

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Fragile bottle

There was a little jar inside a house,
inside it was a little bell,
singing and ringing,
silently hearing eveything with her ears,
touching a little heart with her hand
loving in silence until the end.

Leave me alone!
she screamed a day,
closing her eyes
crying songs and poems.

Singing to the moon
she said "leave my heart alone,
I can't hold so much love,
leave me suffer alone,
I'm not enough,
I can't caught you
so please go away"

Dancing with the stars,
in circles she heard
whispers from the leaves,
and gossips that escaped from her eyes.

Little bell, jumping over stones
smiling alone,
flying to home.

"Where should I go?,
I don't have a bottle
to float over my tears,
maybe if I became a turtle
I can swim the seas"
Sang the little bell
trapped in a jar.

The stars above her head
with the blue sky of her eyes,
crossed a imaginary world
inside her cage.

There's no song about you
just a sad page inside this dark book,
I said to myself, once again.

Sadly in the hell
is living a little bell,
demons dance around her
screaming the pain
that she never said.

"Give me your heart"
a devil said
"I'll cure your wound
blessing your pain
with a sunny day,
I'll hug you,
I'll love you my darling"

She doesn't care
and doesn't want to choice
between a flying life
or die with hate.

Under this beautiful world
of demons and wolfs,
it's a sad hell
where a bell sings her last day,
she rings,
drinking it,
drinking all,
is the pain of the world
that she created long ago.

"What's is going on?
Calistea, my love,
leave me clean your little face"
"You don't need to cry,
there's no more shadows under your bed,
look what I made for you
under this piece of earth
is my heart
giving life to this little plant,
there is two shiny suns
shinig for you"

That warm hell
healed the cold paradise
from where she cames.

A disguised God
with an egoist wish
gave to her the life,
breaking her
from the foots to the head.

"This is a paradise
you can't go out,
you can't cry
sing for me,
silent please,
why do you cry?
I'm giving to you the best life"
He said punching the chest,
throwing a bottle to an inocent soul.

As a free slave
empty and bored,
she saw a sparkle
that burned for a moment
all the world
and gave to her a dream.

"I want to be free,
I'll fly to the sun
burned I'll fall to the sea.
Swimming I'll touch the earth,
living in the hell, living in the hell"
Sang a little bell, crossing the earth,
smiling and ringing
with her loved love.

Every sad tear is now a sunny day,
a sunny shiny plant with two suns
lighting the hell, lighting the earth,
healing her sky, healing the pain.

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So, whatever, I want to sleep.

en 1

Correct

Corrections

emcttsy

Frustated

I feel frustrated right now.

What's the point of writeing here?

of + infinitive verb. A good way to check if you should use the -ing verb form (infinitive) is to think "can I use a noun here instead?" If so, then use the infinitive, which is a verb form that often acts like a noun. "What's the point of news" or "What's the point of a pet" work, so you use the infinitive. It's the same reason you say "I like running" instead of "I like run."

I'll never be enough.

In Spanish there's are a lot of ways to say the same thing, in English I can't do it.

You'll get there :) One of the hard things about English is that there are *so many* different words for the same thing (usually both a word with Germanic roots and a word derived from French or Latin). Once you get used to it, you'll find there are a lot of ways to express subtle variations of the same idea in English.

Feel your pain though. I have the same struggle when I try to speak in German

Why do I write here?

I ~~must~~need to learn basics first.

With "must" it'd be "I must learn the basics first."
Must is weird, it's an English modal verbs. They act a little different than normal verbs https://www.perfect-english-grammar.com/modal-verbs.html

I'm angry, I'm disapointed.

Can I just write one sentence ~~fine~~correctly?

You could also say "Can I just write one sentence that is fine" or "Can I just write one sentence that is okay?"
Another option would be "Can't I just write one sentence that is okay?" since that's like asking the question "Can I not do this?" as in "am I incapable of doing this?"

Can I do something fine?

Fragile bottle

There was a little jar inside a house,

inside it was a little bell,

singing and ringing,

silently hearing eveything with her ears,

touching a little heart with her hand

loving in silence until the end.

Leave me alone!

she screamed for a day,

closing her eyes

crying songs and poems.

Singing to the moon

she said "leave my heart alone,

I can't hold so much love,

leave me suffer alone,

I'm not enough,

I can't ca~~ught~~tch you

so please go away"

Dancing with the stars,

in circles she heard

whispers from the leaves,

and gossips that escaped from her eyes.

gossip is a non-count noun (like milk or steel), so you can use either "gossip" as I suggested or "pieces of gossip"

Little bell, jumping over stones

smiling alone,

flying to home.

"Where should I go?,

I don't have a bottle

to float over my tears,

maybe if I became a turtle

I can swim the seas"

Sang the little bell

trapped in a jar.

The stars above her head

with the blue sky of her eyes,

crossed a imaginary world

inside her cage.

There's no song about you

just a sad page inside this dark book,

I said to myself, once again.

Sadly in the hell

~~is living~~lives a little bell,

style. sounds better like this to my anglophone ears, "is living" sounds very antiquated for some reason.

demons dance around her

screaming the pain

that she never said.

a devil said

"I'll cure your wound

blessing your pain

with a sunny day,

I'll hug you,

I'll love you my darling"

She doesn't care

and doesn't want to choicose

between a flying life

or ~~die~~a death with hate.

"a flying life" is a noun phrase, so it reads better to use another noun phrase for the other option she's choosing between.
"a hateful death" would be another option.

Under this beautiful world

of demons and wolfves,

it's a sad hell

where a bell sings her last day,

she rings,

drinking it,

drinking all,

is the pain of the world

that she created long ago.

"What's is going on?

Calistea, my love,

le~~ave~~t me clean your little face"

"You don't need to cry,

there's are no more shadows under your bed,

there're is a (not grammatically "correct") contraction you could use in poetry like this for "there are"

look what I made for you

under this piece of earth

is my heart

giving life to this little plant,

there is two shiny suns

shinig for you"

That warm hell

healed the cold paradise

from wh~~ere~~ich she cames.

A disguised God

with an ~~ego~~selfisth wish

gave t~~o her the life,~~he life to her

the original way could work for a poem but not for speech or other writing.

breaking her

from the f~~oots~~eet to the head.

from "head to toe" is a common phrase we use for this :)

"This is a paradise

you can't go out,

you can't cry

sing for me,

silent please,

why do you cry?

I'm giving to you the best life"

He said punching the chest,

throwing a bottle to an inocent soul.

As a free slave

empty and bored,

she saw a sparkle

that burned for a moment

all the world

and gave ~~to her~~ a dream to her.

"I want to be free,

I'll fly to the sun

burned I'll fall to the sea.

Swimming I'll touch the eEarth,

if you refer to the planet, use Earth. If you refer to soil/the ground, use earth.

living in the hell, living in the hell"

Sang a little bell, crossing the eEarth,

smiling and ringing

with her loved love.

Every sad tear is now a sunny day,

a sunny shiny plant with two suns

lighting the hell, lighting the eEarth,

healing her sky, healing the pain.

So, whatever, I want to sleep.

Feedback

Sorry you're so frustrated. But stick with it. It gets better.

Miya_Miya

April 6, 2021

Swimming I'll touch the eEarth,

I wanted to say earth, but I'll remember it if I want to talk about the planet.

Miya_Miya

April 6, 2021

So, whatever, I want to sleep.

Thanks for your help, I'm impressed because I forgot many things. You're right, it's hard at the beginning, this need time. Thank you very much for your time.

with an egoist wish

with an ~~ego~~selfisth wish

gave to her the life,

gave t~~o her the life,~~he life to her

the original way could work for a poem but not for speech or other writing.

breaking her