Nov. 1, 2025
Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 6-1
Sixth Exchange
Dear Takeshi,
Creative work must surely be a painful endeavor.
In one of your earlier letters, you wrote about a manga artist who, in a drunken haze, poured out his suffering.
To think that even after becoming a professional, one must continue to bear such burdens—it truly is a demanding vocation.
I must confess, I know very little about manga.
But when I read your work for the first time, I was deeply moved.
My heart raced, and I nearly cried. I was astonished to discover that manga could evoke such emotion.
You have the gift to create stories that stir the hearts of others.
There may be others with talent.
But I believe, with all my heart, that there are things only you can express.
Yours respectfully,
Kyoko
June 9, Showa 51 (1976)
To think that even after becoming a professional, one must continue to bear such burdens—it truly is a demanding vocation.
-> "To think that one could continue to bear such burdens even after becoming a professional–it truly is a demanding vocation."
"must" carries the implications that bearing those burdens is a responsibility, is something that you have to do. "could" emphasizes instead the continuation of this state of bearing burdens, which I think you might be going for.
Keeping the sentence in the original order is find as well, but I find that swapping "even after becoming a professional" with "one must/could continue to bear such burdens" flows better. This might be a subjective thing though.
I was astonished to discover that manga could evoke such emotion.
"astonished" works, but "surprised" also works!
You have the gift to create stories that stir the hearts of others.
"the gift of creating stories that stir the hearts of others" might be more natural if you want to say that this ability (the one of creating stories that stir the hearts of others) is a gift, is a talent that he has.
Nov. 2, 2025
Thank you for your advice. I took your suggestion and revised it like this.
"To think that one could continue to bear such burdens, even after becoming a professional—it truly is a demanding vocation."
"You have the gift of creating stories that stir the hearts of others."
I look forward to your continued support.
Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella
Sixth Exchange
Dear Takeshi,
Creative work must surely be a painful endeavor.
In one of your earlier letters, you wrote about a manga artist who, in a drunken haze, poured out his suffering.
To think that even after becoming a professional, one must continue to bear such burdens—it truly is a demanding vocation.
I must confess, I know very little about manga.
But when I read your work for the first time, I was deeply moved.
My heart raced, and I nearly cried.
I was astonished to discover that manga could evoke such emotion.
You have the gift to create stories that stir the hearts of others.
There may be others with talent.
But I believe, with all my heart, that there are things only you can express.
Yours respectfully,
Kyoko
June 9, Showa 51 (1976)
Feedback
Perfect!
Nov. 2, 2025
Thank you for reading! I look forward to working with you again!
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Sixth Exchange This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Dear Takeshi, This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Creative work must surely be a painful endeavor. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
In one of your earlier letters, you wrote about a manga artist who, in a drunken haze, poured out his suffering. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
To think that even after becoming a professional, one must continue to bear such burdens—it truly is a demanding vocation. This sentence has been marked as perfect! To think that even after becoming a professional, one must continue to bear such burdens—it truly is a demanding vocation. -> "To think that one could continue to bear such burdens even after becoming a professional–it truly is a demanding vocation." "must" carries the implications that bearing those burdens is a responsibility, is something that you have to do. "could" emphasizes instead the continuation of this state of bearing burdens, which I think you might be going for. Keeping the sentence in the original order is find as well, but I find that swapping "even after becoming a professional" with "one must/could continue to bear such burdens" flows better. This might be a subjective thing though. |
|
I must confess, I know very little about manga. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
But when I read your work for the first time, I was deeply moved. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 6-1 |
|
My heart raced, and I nearly cried. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I was astonished to discover that manga could evoke such emotion. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I was astonished to discover that manga could evoke such emotion. "astonished" works, but "surprised" also works! |
|
You have the gift to create stories that stir the hearts of others. This sentence has been marked as perfect! You have the gift to create stories that stir the hearts of others. "the gift of creating stories that stir the hearts of others" might be more natural if you want to say that this ability (the one of creating stories that stir the hearts of others) is a gift, is a talent that he has. |
|
There may be others with talent. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
But I believe, with all my heart, that there are things only you can express. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Yours respectfully, This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Kyoko This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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June 9, Showa 51 (1976) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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