June 1, 2021
CHALLENGE 1: When I Grow Up
When I saw this prompt, NF's When I Grow Up pumped into my head.
I used to have a lot of dreams, such as policeman, soldier, president, etc., but when I grew up some more, I realized that I couldn't afford to do these careers and I no longer liked them. To be honest, these "dreams" are just my way of pleasing my teachers and parents. I didn't have very clear dreams when I was a kid, I just wanted to get high grades, and finally get good grades in the college entrance exams. I thought that if I got good grades, everyone would like me and I could have everything I wanted.
I'm now interested in new technologies and communities, and I'm trying to go to graduate school in a related field and considering careers in that area. However, my ultimate dream is to be able to go out and enjoy nature every day. It's not easy. Most of the nature parks in China are already developed, and I don't like these developed scenic spots.
CHALLENGE 1: When I Grow Up
When I saw this prompt, NF's "When I Grow Up" pumopped up into my head.
You can use "popped up into my head" as a casual, natural way of saying this, a phrase I use often! Put quotes around song titles to make it clear that it's a title for a song.
I used to have a lot of dreams, such as being a policeman, soldier, president, etc., but However, when I grew up some moreolder, I realized that I couldn't afford to do these careers and I no longer likedwanted to be them.
Note: It's a little odd to say "couldn't afford to do these careers". What do you mean by that? Do you mean that these jobs do not pay well, or that they are difficult to do for you because of lack of ability? I might change this to "I realized that these jobs were not realistic for me".
To be honest, these "dreams" are just my way of pleasing my teachers and parents.
I didn't have very clear dreams when I was a kid,. I just wanted to get high grades, and finally get good grades in the college entrance exams.
Separate these two phrases into two sentences.
I thought that if I got good grades, everyone would like me and I could have everything I wanted.
I'm now interested in new technologies and communities, and I'm trying to go to graduate school in a related field and considering careers in that area.
This sentence is grammatically fine, but it's a little unclear and vague. What are "new communities"? You can also probably simplify the last part:
"I'm trying to go to graduate school and considering careers in a related field."
However, my ultimate dream is to be able to go out and enjoy nature every day.
It's not easy.
Most of the natureional parks in China are already developed, and I don't like these developed scenic spots.
"Nature parks" is okay, but it might be better to use "national parks" here. It's a more specific term referring to special nature / scenic spots that are well-known within the nation.
Feedback
I hope you get to enjoy more time in nature! That sounds like a peaceful and simple dream to have... but yes, it seems like it would be difficult to do in a lot of areas in China.
June 1, 2021
I used to have a lot of dreams, such as being a policeman, soldier, president, etc., but However, when I grew up some moreolder, I realized that I couldn't afford to do these careers and I no longer likedwanted to be them.
they are difficult to do for me because of lack of ability😓
"I realized that these jobs were not realistic for me" is better.
Thanks :)
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CHALLENGE 1: When I Grow Up This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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When I saw this prompt, NF's When I Grow Up pumped into my head. When I saw this prompt, NF's "When I Grow Up" p You can use "popped up into my head" as a casual, natural way of saying this, a phrase I use often! Put quotes around song titles to make it clear that it's a title for a song. |
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I used to have a lot of dreams, such as policeman, soldier, president, etc., but when I grew up some more, I realized that I couldn't afford to do these careers and I no longer liked them. I used to have a lot of dreams, such as being a policeman, soldier, president, etc. Note: It's a little odd to say "couldn't afford to do these careers". What do you mean by that? Do you mean that these jobs do not pay well, or that they are difficult to do for you because of lack of ability? I might change this to "I realized that these jobs were not realistic for me". |
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To be honest, these "dreams" are just my way of pleasing my teachers and parents. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I didn't have very clear dreams when I was a kid, I just wanted to get high grades, and finally get good grades in the college entrance exams. I didn't have very clear dreams when I was a kid Separate these two phrases into two sentences. |
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I thought that if I got good grades, everyone would like me and I could have everything I wanted. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I'm now interested in new technologies and communities, and I'm trying to go to graduate school in a related field and considering careers in that area. I'm now interested in new technologies and communities, and I'm trying to go to graduate school in a related field and considering careers in that area. This sentence is grammatically fine, but it's a little unclear and vague. What are "new communities"? You can also probably simplify the last part: "I'm trying to go to graduate school and considering careers in a related field." |
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However, my ultimate dream is to be able to go out and enjoy nature every day. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's not easy. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Most of the nature parks in China are already developed, and I don't like these developed scenic spots. Most of the nat "Nature parks" is okay, but it might be better to use "national parks" here. It's a more specific term referring to special nature / scenic spots that are well-known within the nation. |
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