ElmasCapito's avatar
ElmasCapito

June 3, 2025

0
...and I lost.

Yesterday, Monday 02nd Jun, I was sitting on my chair while I was solving mathematical problems I had to update before midday. I don't like to waste my time, so I was listening to a podcast. The podcast was from a well-known youtuber, here in Mexico, "El temach". He is a controversial person because his ideas can be judged like misogynistic and aggressive towards women. Perhaps there is an ocean of his ideas that nobody has the courage to through or even think. His popularity has increased since he was "funado". I mean, the main point of this explanation is that I was listening to his speech when I heard sentences that matched my mind and my unconscious. He said that you don't have to give up, that your mind will tell you how untalented and second-rate you are, every moment you´re moving on. And as he was saying that, I was remembering one battle I had when I was 15 years old.
I was in 3rt round, the place was my gym, on the ring there were two teenagers who where fighting each other. I was heated with a mount of punches and my vision began to blur, my legs had forgotten how to stand by. My mind screamed with all my forces "I won't be defeated", my soul would never give up against that pain, but my opponent stopped. "He is done" he said, and left the ring in the middle of the fight. It hurt more than any punch to my face I received.
Since that day, in each combat I had my head could only think about those words. My body didn't give up, but I gave up, me and my mind; and I lost. I lost my soul, my courage. The fear overcame me, and I left boxing one month after that fight. Now that I see what happened, my desire has been reborn in my soul and I won't surrender against anything, even if I lose. It's easier to say than to do, but I won't live with shame again.

fightstrenghtodds
Corrections

Yesterday, Monday 02nd JunJune 2nd, I was sitting oin my chair while I was solving mathematical problems I had to updacomplete before midday noon.

The other variation is understandable, but “June 2nd” looks more natural. “Mathematical problems” works, but “math problems” is more widely said. “Midday” also works, but “noon” is more widely said.

I don't like to waste my time, so I was listening to a podcast.

The podcast was fromby a well-known yYoutTuber, here in Mexico, "El temach".

“YouTuber” is grammatically correct as the platform is spelled “YouTube”

He is a controversial person because his ideas can be judged likeseen as being misogynistic and aggressive towards women.

Perhaps there is an ocean of his ideas that nobody has the courage to through or even think.

He said that y, “You don't have to give up, that your mind will tell you how untalented and second-rate you are, every moment you´re moving on.

You should use quotation marks when quoting something somebody else said to make the passage less confusing.

And as he was saying that, I was rememberinged one battlefight I had when I was 15 years old.

In this case, “fight” would be more fitting than “battle”, as battle is used to describe extremely intense fights, often including multiple people

I was in 3rtd round, the place was my gym, on the ring there were two teenagers who where fighting each other.

“Third” used “rd” as the ending. It is the only ordinal number to use this. Every other ordinal number after this uses a “th” ending (4th, 5th, 6th, etc.)

I was heatedit with a mount of punches and my vision began to blur, my legsI felt like I had forgotten how to stand by.

My mind screamed with all my forces "I won't be defeated", my soul would never give up against that pain, butand my opponent stopped.

It hurt more than any punch to mythe face I received.

Since that day, in each combat I had my headaltercation I had, I could only think about those words.

The word “altercation” fits better than “combat”

The fear overcame me, and I lefquit boxing one month after that fight.

ElmasCapito's avatar
ElmasCapito

June 7, 2025

0

Thanks for your comments. I hadn't understood the main idea of using "st", "nd", "rd", "th", until now. I'm very grateful.

PacificOcean's avatar
PacificOcean

June 7, 2025

1

Glad I could help! :D

Yesterday, Monday 02nd, June 2, I was sitting on my chair while I was solving mathematical problems that I had to update before midday.

This is how dates typically appear.

The podcast was from a well-known youtuber, here in Mexico, "El tTemach".

A single comma can introduce the appositive phrase (in this case, the name).

He is a controversial person because his ideas can be judged likeas misogynistic and aggressive towards women.

It is more normal to say "judged as." If the Spanish word is "como," then "como" can mean like or as, but deciding which of these to use is more complicated.

Perhaps there is an ocean of his ideas that nobody has the courage to go through or even think.

"through" needs a verb before it

His popularity has increased since he was "funado".

I mean, the main point of this explanation is that I was listening to his speech when I heard sentences that matched my mind and my unconscious.

He said that you don't have to give up, and that your mind will tell you how untalented and second-rate you are, every moment you´'re moving onforward.

"To move on" usually means to stop doing one thing and start doing a different thing.

And as he was saying that, I was remembering one battle I had when I was 15 years old.

"and" isn't required here

I was in 3rtd round, the place was my gym, oand in the ring there were two teenagers who where fighting each other.

I was so heated with the a mount of punches andthat my vision began to blur, and my legs had forgotten how to stand by.

This isn't the only way to write it, but it's a simpler construction.

My mind screamed with all my forces, "I won't be defeated"," and my soul would never give up against that pain, but my opponent stopped.

"He is done," he said, and left the ring in the middle of the fight.

Since that day, in each combat I had my head, I could only think about those words.

My body didn't give up, but I gave up, meyself and my mind; and I lost.

I lost my soul, my courage.

The fear overcame me, and I left boxing one month after that fight.

Now that I see what happened, my desire has been reborn in my soul and I won't surrender against anything, even if I lose.

It's easier to say than to do, but I won't live with shame again.

Feedback

It's interesting how the story started with mathematics but quickly changed to the main topic. Errors are, as far as I can tell, minor ones. I haven't listened to this youtube guy, but I hope those people are wrong and that he isn't any type of misogynist.

ElmasCapito's avatar
ElmasCapito

June 7, 2025

0

Yeah, thanks for your words. In social media, and recently in real life, everybody only listen what they want to listen. There is a low rate of people who really take the time to pay attention to ideas that don't fit in the status quo. They just listen to striking reels, not all the content.

...and I lost.

Yesterday, Monday 02nd Jun, June 2nd, I was sitting on my chair while I was solving mathematicalsome math problems I had to updatefinish before midday.

I don't like to waste my time, so I was listening to a podcast, as well.

The podcasIt was from a well-known yYoutTuber, here in Mexico, "El tTemach".

He i's a controversial personfigure because some of his ideas can be judged likeseen as misogynistic andor aggressive towards women.

Perhaps there i's an ocean of his ideas that nobody has the courage to through or even thinkideas in his content that people haven't dared to dive into.

His popularity has increased since he was "funado" (canceled).

I mean, the main point of this explanationAnyway, the point is that I was listening to his speech when I heard sentences that matched my mind and my unome ideas that really resonated with me—deeply, even subconsciously.

He said that you don't have toshouldn't give up, that your mind will tell you how unconstantly try to convince you that you're talentedless and second-rate you are, every moment you´re moving on, every step of the way.

And as he was saying that, I was remembering one battleed a fight I had when I was 15 years old.

It was in 3rtthe third round, and the place was my gym, o. In the ring there were, two teenagers who where fighting each otherere facing off.

I was heated with a mounthad taken a barrage of punches, and my vision began to blur, m. My legs had forgotten how to keep me stand bying.

My mind screamed with all my forces "Then, with all the strength I had left, my mind screamed: “I won't be defeated", m.” My soul would neverrefused to give up against thate pain, but suddenly, my opponent stopped.

"He i's done",” he said, and left the ring in the middle of the fight.

IThat moment hurt more than any punch to my face I receivedI'd taken to the face.

Since that day, in each combat I had my head could only think about those wordsvery match I've fought, those words have echoed in my head.

My body didn't give up,... but I gave up, me anddid. Me, my mind; a. And I lost.

I lost my soul, mpirit. My courage.

The fear overcameFear got the best of me, and I lefquit boxing one month after that fight.

Now thatBut now, looking back, I sfee what happened, my desire has been reborn in my soul al that desire has come back to life inside me. And I won't surrender againsto anything, even if I lose.

It's easier to saysaid than to done, but I won't live with that kind of shame again.

Feedback

Good job! Let me know if you have any questions.

ElmasCapito's avatar
ElmasCapito

June 7, 2025

0

Well, I have no questions concerning to your corrections, your sentences make my essay better. However, I´d like to ask how can I improve my writing skills to be like yours.

AllSubNoDub's avatar
AllSubNoDub

June 8, 2025

224

Haha, I'm flattered, but I really think you're doing fine. Just keep going man! You'll get better. You're also pushing yourself and using really advanced words and phrases, but sometimes they just don't fit with the tone (but I think that's fine while you're learning). Oh, and read, read, read!

...and I lost.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I was in 3rt round, the place was my gym, on the ring there were two teenagers who where fighting each other.


It was in 3rtthe third round, and the place was my gym, o. In the ring there were, two teenagers who where fighting each otherere facing off.

I was in 3rtd round, the place was my gym, oand in the ring there were two teenagers who where fighting each other.

I was in 3rtd round, the place was my gym, on the ring there were two teenagers who where fighting each other.

“Third” used “rd” as the ending. It is the only ordinal number to use this. Every other ordinal number after this uses a “th” ending (4th, 5th, 6th, etc.)

I was heated with a mount of punches and my vision began to blur, my legs had forgotten how to stand by.


I was heated with a mounthad taken a barrage of punches, and my vision began to blur, m. My legs had forgotten how to keep me stand bying.

I was so heated with the a mount of punches andthat my vision began to blur, and my legs had forgotten how to stand by.

This isn't the only way to write it, but it's a simpler construction.

I was heatedit with a mount of punches and my vision began to blur, my legsI felt like I had forgotten how to stand by.

My mind screamed with all my forces "I won't be defeated", my soul would never give up against that pain, but my opponent stopped.


My mind screamed with all my forces "Then, with all the strength I had left, my mind screamed: “I won't be defeated", m.” My soul would neverrefused to give up against thate pain, but suddenly, my opponent stopped.

My mind screamed with all my forces, "I won't be defeated"," and my soul would never give up against that pain, but my opponent stopped.

My mind screamed with all my forces "I won't be defeated", my soul would never give up against that pain, butand my opponent stopped.

"He is done" he said, and left the ring in the middle of the fight.


"He i's done",” he said, and left the ring in the middle of the fight.

"He is done," he said, and left the ring in the middle of the fight.

It hurt more than any punch to my face I received.


IThat moment hurt more than any punch to my face I receivedI'd taken to the face.

It hurt more than any punch to mythe face I received.

Since that day, in each combat I had my head could only think about those words.


Since that day, in each combat I had my head could only think about those wordsvery match I've fought, those words have echoed in my head.

Since that day, in each combat I had my head, I could only think about those words.

Since that day, in each combat I had my headaltercation I had, I could only think about those words.

The word “altercation” fits better than “combat”

My body didn't give up, but I gave up, me and my mind; and I lost.


My body didn't give up,... but I gave up, me anddid. Me, my mind; a. And I lost.

My body didn't give up, but I gave up, meyself and my mind; and I lost.

I lost my soul, my courage.


I lost my soul, mpirit. My courage.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The fear overcame me, and I left boxing one month after that fight.


The fear overcameFear got the best of me, and I lefquit boxing one month after that fight.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The fear overcame me, and I lefquit boxing one month after that fight.

Now that I see what happened, my desire has been reborn in my soul and I won't surrender against anything, even if I lose.


Now thatBut now, looking back, I sfee what happened, my desire has been reborn in my soul al that desire has come back to life inside me. And I won't surrender againsto anything, even if I lose.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It's easier to say than to do, but I won't live with shame again.


It's easier to saysaid than to done, but I won't live with that kind of shame again.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Yesterday, Monday 02nd Jun, I was sitting on my chair while I was solving mathematical problems I had to update before midday.


Yesterday, Monday 02nd Jun, June 2nd, I was sitting on my chair while I was solving mathematicalsome math problems I had to updatefinish before midday.

Yesterday, Monday 02nd, June 2, I was sitting on my chair while I was solving mathematical problems that I had to update before midday.

This is how dates typically appear.

Yesterday, Monday 02nd JunJune 2nd, I was sitting oin my chair while I was solving mathematical problems I had to updacomplete before midday noon.

The other variation is understandable, but “June 2nd” looks more natural. “Mathematical problems” works, but “math problems” is more widely said. “Midday” also works, but “noon” is more widely said.

I don't like to waste my time, so I was listening to a podcast.


I don't like to waste my time, so I was listening to a podcast, as well.

I don't like to waste my time, so I was listening to a podcast.

The podcast was from a well-known youtuber, here in Mexico, "El temach".


The podcasIt was from a well-known yYoutTuber, here in Mexico, "El tTemach".

The podcast was from a well-known youtuber, here in Mexico, "El tTemach".

A single comma can introduce the appositive phrase (in this case, the name).

The podcast was fromby a well-known yYoutTuber, here in Mexico, "El temach".

“YouTuber” is grammatically correct as the platform is spelled “YouTube”

He is a controversial person because his ideas can be judged like misogynistic and aggressive towards women.


He i's a controversial personfigure because some of his ideas can be judged likeseen as misogynistic andor aggressive towards women.

He is a controversial person because his ideas can be judged likeas misogynistic and aggressive towards women.

It is more normal to say "judged as." If the Spanish word is "como," then "como" can mean like or as, but deciding which of these to use is more complicated.

He is a controversial person because his ideas can be judged likeseen as being misogynistic and aggressive towards women.

Perhaps there is an ocean of his ideas that nobody has the courage to through or even think.


Perhaps there i's an ocean of his ideas that nobody has the courage to through or even thinkideas in his content that people haven't dared to dive into.

Perhaps there is an ocean of his ideas that nobody has the courage to go through or even think.

"through" needs a verb before it

Perhaps there is an ocean of his ideas that nobody has the courage to through or even think.

His popularity has increased since he was "funado".


His popularity has increased since he was "funado" (canceled).

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I mean, the main point of this explanation is that I was listening to his speech when I heard sentences that matched my mind and my unconscious.


I mean, the main point of this explanationAnyway, the point is that I was listening to his speech when I heard sentences that matched my mind and my unome ideas that really resonated with me—deeply, even subconsciously.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He said that you don't have to give up, that your mind will tell you how untalented and second-rate you are, every moment you´re moving on.


He said that you don't have toshouldn't give up, that your mind will tell you how unconstantly try to convince you that you're talentedless and second-rate you are, every moment you´re moving on, every step of the way.

He said that you don't have to give up, and that your mind will tell you how untalented and second-rate you are, every moment you´'re moving onforward.

"To move on" usually means to stop doing one thing and start doing a different thing.

He said that y, “You don't have to give up, that your mind will tell you how untalented and second-rate you are, every moment you´re moving on.

You should use quotation marks when quoting something somebody else said to make the passage less confusing.

And as he was saying that, I was remembering one battle I had when I was 15 years old.


And as he was saying that, I was remembering one battleed a fight I had when I was 15 years old.

And as he was saying that, I was remembering one battle I had when I was 15 years old.

"and" isn't required here

And as he was saying that, I was rememberinged one battlefight I had when I was 15 years old.

In this case, “fight” would be more fitting than “battle”, as battle is used to describe extremely intense fights, often including multiple people

You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.

Go Premium