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dubrakva

April 21, 2021

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An unsolved mystery

An unsolved mystery
This summer me and my family moved in a new house in a lovely city. When we came here the neigbor's were looking at us like we were some maniacs maybe because it was all broken and very dusty from the previouse owner. My brother and i were unpacking in our new rooms, mom was making dinner and dad was at work. Mom called us for dinner. My room was right beside the basement door right as i went by it i heard a loud „BANG!“ coming from the basement. My mom shouted „What was that!?“ while her and my brother rushed to the door so fast that the plate she was holding fell from the table and broke. They asked me what happened as i was telling them the story suddenly out of nowhere the door of basement opened on its own and the lights in the basement turned on. I was so scared that it sent shivers down my spine. We grabbed a bat in case someone was down there to protect ourselvs. The wooden stairs were cracking oon our every step. My brother went back up and called our dad in case something happened to us. Wen we stepped on the last step suddenly an old radio turned on but nobody was there as i was about to turn it off it stopped working and the room got cold but that was strange because it was summer. We didnt see anybody in the basement so we got back up. A day has passed by and i talked to my neighbor about what happened she told me a story about the previouse owner claming that he saw a ghost of his dead wife in the house and how he couldnt take it anymore seeing her so he sold the house. I was in complete shock that i just went home. After i told my parents the story they couldn't belive they were tricked the man didn't say anything about a ghost in the house when he showed them the tour of it. After we calmed down and ate dinner we all went to sleep. During the few weeks we were here nothing paranormal happened only the day that we came…. Until one night we heard something loud it sounded as a scream. We went down to the basement and there it was the ghost and a dead body of an unknown man on the floor. We called the police but the ghost was gone the unknown man was the previouse owner of the house.. Are we next on the list? Will we ever find out what happened? Will we ever see her again?

Corrections

An unsolved mystery

An unsolved mystery

This summer me and my family and I moved into a new house in a lovely city.

When we came here the neigbor's were looking at us like we were some maniacs mkind of maniacs/ were maniacs. Maybe because it was all broken and very dusty from the previouse owner.

My brother and iI were unpacking in our new rooms, mMom was making dinner and dDad was at work.

When using "mom" and "dad", if you use them in place of the person's name, they need to be capitalised because it's being used as the person's name, e.g. Mom/Janet was making dinner. If you're saying "My mom was making dinner", you don't capitalise it because it's now a title.

Mom called us for dinner.

My room was right beside the basement door r. Right as iI went by it i, I heard a loud „BANG!“ coming from the basement.

?“ while sher and my brother rushed to the door so fast that the plate she was holding fell from the table and broke.

There's nothing technically wrong with this sentence but it's long. Better would be, "My mom shouted „What was that!?" (end of sentence, shown by ? before ") She and my brother rushed to the door so fast that the plate she was holding fell from the table and broke."

They asked me what happened a. As iI was telling them the story, suddenly out of nowhere the door of basement opened on its own and the lights in the basement turned on.

I was so scared that it sent shivers down my spine.

We grabbed a bat to protect ourselves in case someone was down there to protect ourselvs.

The wooden stairs were cracking oon our every step.

Cracking is okay, but most people would say "creaking" for this noise.

My brother went back up and called our dad in case something happened to us.

When we stepped onto the last step, suddenly an old radio turned on but nobody was there a. As iI was about to turn it off, it stopped working and the room got cold but t. That was strange because it was summer.

We didn't see anybody in the basement so we gowent back up.

A day has passed by and iI talked to my neighbor about what happened s. She told me a story about the previouse owner claiming that he saw athe ghost of his dead wife in the house and how he couldn't take it anymore seeing her anymore, so he sold the house.

"A ghost" for a general ghost, "THE ghost of his dead wife" to specify whose ghost it was.

I was in such complete shock that iI just went home.

After iI told my parents the story, they couldn't believe they werehad been tricked t. The man didn't say anything about a ghost in the house when he showed it to them / when he gave them the tour of it.

After we calmed down and ate dinner we all went to sleep.

During theOver the next few weeks we were here nothing paranormal happened, only the day that we came….

Until one night we heard something loud i. It sounded as a scream.

We went down to the basement and there it was: the ghost and athe dead body of an unknown man on the floor.

We called the police but the ghost was gone t. The unknown man was the previouse owner of the house.. Are we next on the list?

Will we ever find out what happened?

Will we ever see her again?

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

April 21, 2021

0

Thank you. Do you have the time and will to help me further?

An unsolved mystery


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My brother and i were unpacking in our new rooms, mom was making dinner and dad was at work.


My brother and iI were unpacking in our new rooms, mMom was making dinner and dDad was at work.

When using "mom" and "dad", if you use them in place of the person's name, they need to be capitalised because it's being used as the person's name, e.g. Mom/Janet was making dinner. If you're saying "My mom was making dinner", you don't capitalise it because it's now a title.

An unsolved mystery


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This summer me and my family moved in a new house in a lovely city.


This summer me and my family and I moved into a new house in a lovely city.

When we came here the neigbor's were looking at us like we were some maniacs maybe because it was all broken and very dusty from the previouse owner.


When we came here the neigbor's were looking at us like we were some maniacs mkind of maniacs/ were maniacs. Maybe because it was all broken and very dusty from the previouse owner.

Mom called us for dinner.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My room was right beside the basement door right as i went by it i heard a loud „BANG!“ coming from the basement.


My room was right beside the basement door r. Right as iI went by it i, I heard a loud „BANG!“ coming from the basement.

My mom shouted „What was that!


?“ while her and my brother rushed to the door so fast that the plate she was holding fell from the table and broke.


?“ while sher and my brother rushed to the door so fast that the plate she was holding fell from the table and broke.

There's nothing technically wrong with this sentence but it's long. Better would be, "My mom shouted „What was that!?" (end of sentence, shown by ? before ") She and my brother rushed to the door so fast that the plate she was holding fell from the table and broke."

They asked me what happened as i was telling them the story suddenly out of nowhere the door of basement opened on its own and the lights in the basement turned on.


They asked me what happened a. As iI was telling them the story, suddenly out of nowhere the door of basement opened on its own and the lights in the basement turned on.

I was so scared that it sent shivers down my spine.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

We grabbed a bat in case someone was down there to protect ourselvs.


We grabbed a bat to protect ourselves in case someone was down there to protect ourselvs.

The wooden stairs were cracking oon our every step.


The wooden stairs were cracking oon our every step.

Cracking is okay, but most people would say "creaking" for this noise.

My brother went back up and called our dad in case something happened to us.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Wen we stepped on the last step suddenly an old radio turned on but nobody was there as i was about to turn it off it stopped working and the room got cold but that was strange because it was summer.


When we stepped onto the last step, suddenly an old radio turned on but nobody was there a. As iI was about to turn it off, it stopped working and the room got cold but t. That was strange because it was summer.

We didnt see anybody in the basement so we got back up.


We didn't see anybody in the basement so we gowent back up.

A day has passed by and i talked to my neighbor about what happened she told me a story about the previouse owner claming that he saw a ghost of his dead wife in the house and how he couldnt take it anymore seeing her so he sold the house.


A day has passed by and iI talked to my neighbor about what happened s. She told me a story about the previouse owner claiming that he saw athe ghost of his dead wife in the house and how he couldn't take it anymore seeing her anymore, so he sold the house.

"A ghost" for a general ghost, "THE ghost of his dead wife" to specify whose ghost it was.

I was in complete shock that i just went home.


I was in such complete shock that iI just went home.

After i told my parents the story they couldn't belive they were tricked the man didn't say anything about a ghost in the house when he showed them the tour of it.


After iI told my parents the story, they couldn't believe they werehad been tricked t. The man didn't say anything about a ghost in the house when he showed it to them / when he gave them the tour of it.

After we calmed down and ate dinner we all went to sleep.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

During the few weeks we were here nothing paranormal happened only the day that we came….


During theOver the next few weeks we were here nothing paranormal happened, only the day that we came….

Until one night we heard something loud it sounded as a scream.


Until one night we heard something loud i. It sounded as a scream.

We went down to the basement and there it was the ghost and a dead body of an unknown man on the floor.


We went down to the basement and there it was: the ghost and athe dead body of an unknown man on the floor.

We called the police but the ghost was gone the unknown man was the previouse owner of the house.. Are we next on the list?


We called the police but the ghost was gone t. The unknown man was the previouse owner of the house.. Are we next on the list?

Will we ever find out what happened?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Will we ever see her again?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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