June 7, 2025
A Piece of Mystery In Myanmar
Dhammayangyi , the largest among 12th-century temples, is located in the heartland of Bagan. It looms over the landscape of Bagan with its massive and distinct red-brick structure. Despite being the largest and most magnificent, the mystery buried inside is profound, and an unsettling stillness hung in the air as you wandered into the summit-struck, colossal temple.
Each brick holds the most painful history and tales of a bloodthirsty king named Narathu. He smothered his father, the emperor, to death, poisoned his brother, the crown prince, and executed his wife, the Indian princess.
Rumors said during the construction of the Dhammayangyi temple, the king himself observed the building process and was brutally strict with each construction stage. If a needle could go through the gap between two bricks, the responsible craftsmen or architects were eliminated as punishment. However, after the gruesome death of Narathu, the Dhammayangyi temple was left unfinished. And For centuries, the structure remained intact even after several severe earthquakes.
Nevertheless, the real enigma lies inside the vaulted inner corridor and chambers: is something precious hidden inside, or is there something that people were never meant to see?
A Piece of Mystery Iin Myanmar
Short prepositions including "in" are generally not capitalised in titles.
Dhammayangyi , the largest among (the) 12th-century temples, is located in the heartland of Bagan.
If you're referring to all 12th century temples in general, your original sentence is fine. If you're referring to temples in Myanmar or a specific region in particular, using "the" would be more natural.
It looms over the landscape of Bagan with its massive and distinct red-brick structure.
Despite being the largest and most magnificent, the mystery buried inside is profound, and an unsettling stillness huangs in the air as you wandered into the [summit-struck]?, colossal temple.
(1) Using the simple past tense for "hung" and "wandered" makes it sound like you're narrating a story. The simple present would be more natural, especially since you'd already used it in the previous sentence.
(2) I'm not sure what "summit-struck" means. Perhaps you can clarify it in a comment?
Each brick holds the most painful history and tales of a bloodthirsty king named Narathu.
He smothered his father, the emperor, to death, poisoned his brother, the crown prince, and executed his wife, the Indian princess.
Rumors said during the construction of the Dhammayangyi temple, the king himself observed the building process and was brutally strict with each construction stage.
If a needle could go through the gap between two bricks, the responsible craftsmen or architects were eliminaxecuted as punishment.
"Eliminate" is typically used in the context of political opponents.
However, after the gruesome death of Narathu, the Dhammayangyi temple was left unfinished.
And Ffor centuries, the structure remained intact even after several severe earthquakes.
You can consider merging this sentence with the previous one.
Nevertheless, the real enigma lies inside the vaulted inner corridor and chambers: is something precious hidden inside, or is there something that people were never meant to see?
June 13, 2025
Thank you very much for your corrections. For the word "summit-struck", I know it sounds unusual but a friend suggested me, so I tried to use it. What I want to say is like the summit of the temple is damaged and the bricks are crumbling at the top. Can you suggest what other words I could use to describe it if it sounds very unnatural?
June 13, 2025
I see. In that case, I might simply describe it in multiple words, precisely as you have done in this comment; some things need not be condensed into a single word. Below is a possibility:
"Despite being the largest and most magnificent, the mystery buried inside is profound, and an unsettling stillness hangs in the air as you wander into the colossal temple, its summit now a crumbling pile of bricks, a smooth dome, its sharpness lost to the winds of time."
I included some additional embellishments, in case you might find them useful.
Dhammayangyi , the largest among the 12th-century temples, is located in the heartland of Bagan.
Despite being the largest and most magnificent, the mystery buried inside is profound, and an unsettling stillness hung in the air, as you wandered into the summit-struck, colossal temple.
And Ffor centuries, the structure remained intact even after several severe earthquakes.
Feedback
Excellent work!
June 13, 2025
Thanks a lot!
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A Piece of Mystery In Myanmar A Piece of Mystery Short prepositions including "in" are generally not capitalised in titles. |
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Dhammayangyi , the largest among 12th-century temples, is located in the heartland of Bagan. Dhammayangyi , the largest among the 12th-century temples, is located in the heartland of Bagan. Dhammayangyi , the largest among (the) 12th-century temples, is located in the heartland of Bagan. If you're referring to all 12th century temples in general, your original sentence is fine. If you're referring to temples in Myanmar or a specific region in particular, using "the" would be more natural. |
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It looms over the landscape of Bagan with its massive and distinct red-brick structure. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Despite being the largest and most magnificent, the mystery buried inside is profound, and an unsettling stillness hung in the air as you wandered into the summit-struck, colossal temple. Despite being the largest and most magnificent, the mystery buried inside is profound, and an unsettling stillness hung in the air, as you wandered into the summit-struck, colossal temple. Despite being the largest and most magnificent, the mystery buried inside is profound, and an unsettling stillness h (1) Using the simple past tense for "hung" and "wandered" makes it sound like you're narrating a story. The simple present would be more natural, especially since you'd already used it in the previous sentence. (2) I'm not sure what "summit-struck" means. Perhaps you can clarify it in a comment? |
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Each brick holds the most painful history and tales of a bloodthirsty king named Narathu. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He smothered his father, the emperor, to death, poisoned his brother, the crown prince, and executed his wife, the Indian princess. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Rumors said during the construction of the Dhammayangyi temple, the king himself observed the building process and was brutally strict with each construction stage. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
If a needle could go through the gap between two bricks, the responsible craftsmen or architects were eliminated as punishment. If a needle could go through the gap between two bricks, the responsible craftsmen or architects were e "Eliminate" is typically used in the context of political opponents. |
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However, after the gruesome death of Narathu, the Dhammayangyi temple was left unfinished. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And For centuries, the structure remained intact even after several severe earthquakes. And And You can consider merging this sentence with the previous one. |
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Nevertheless, the real enigma lies inside the vaulted inner corridor and chambers: is something precious hidden inside, or is there something that people were never meant to see? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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