May 10, 2021
A family story
I think all the families have interesting stories or even secrets to discover. Some of them are funny and make us smile when we remember them.
I have a childhood happy memory that I share with my older sister. I was around seven years old, we were visiting my grandparents with my cousin. We loved to go there because of different reasons. The house itself was remarkable because my grandmother worked as a dressmaker and there were fabrics and artifacts everywhere. Furthermore, they used to give us sweets and some money to spend.
We were all in the dinning-room, it was winter and the gas stove was on. My grandpa was having a nap cross-legged in his armchair. The upper foot was too close to the fire, and suddenly the slipper sole started burning. It was a small but visible fire. The odour of burnt rubber invaded the room. I stared at my sister wondering what to do, while grandpa was still snoring peacefully. Nobody moved or talked. All the kids were excited with the show, and suddenly the old man woke up and stood up speedly, shouting.
After he extinguish his slipper he realized all the kids were laughing and said: you rascals didn't warn me, and likewise he started laughing.
A family story
I think all the families have interesting stories or even secrets to discover.
Some of them are funny and make us smile when we remember them.
I have a childhood happy memory that I share with my older sister.
When I was around seven years old, we were visiting my grandparents with my cousin.
We loved to go there because of differentfor many reasons.
The house itself was remarkable because my grandmother worked as a dressmaker and there were fabrics and artifacts everywhere.
Furthermore, they used to give us sweets and some money to spend.
There's nothing wrong with this, but "furthermore" is quite formal so sounds a little odd in this casual context. You could just say "They also used to ..."
WOne time we were all in the dinning- room, it was winter and the gas stove was on.
My grandpa was having a nap cross-legged in his armchair.
The upper foot was too close to the fire, and suddenly the slipper sole started burning.
It was a small but visible fire.
The odour of burnt rubber inpervaded the room.
"Pervaded" describes exactly this situation of when a smell spreads throughout a room.
I stared at my sister wondering what to do, while grandpa was still snoring peacefully.
Nobody moved or talked.
All the kids were excited with the show, and suddenly the old man woke up and stood up speedily, shouting.
"Quickly" is better than "speedily" here
After he extinguished his slipper he realized all the kids were laughing and said: , "you rascals didn't warn me!", and likewise hehe too started laughing.
Again, "likewise" is a bit formal, just "too" is enough. Or "he started laughing as well"
Feedback
Thanks for sharing your story, that's a lovely and funny memory and you wrote it very well!
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A family story This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I think all the families have interesting stories or even secrets to discover. I think all |
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Some of them are funny and make us smile when we remember them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I have a childhood happy memory that I share with my older sister. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I was around seven years old, we were visiting my grandparents with my cousin. When I was around seven years old, we were visiting my grandparents with my cousin. |
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We loved to go there because of different reasons. We loved to go there |
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The house itself was remarkable because my grandmother worked as a dressmaker and there were fabrics and artifacts everywhere. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Furthermore, they used to give us sweets and some money to spend. Furthermore, they used to give us sweets and some money to spend. There's nothing wrong with this, but "furthermore" is quite formal so sounds a little odd in this casual context. You could just say "They also used to ..." |
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We were all in the dinning-room, it was winter and the gas stove was on.
|
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My grandpa was having a nap cross-legged in his armchair. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The upper foot was too close to the fire, and suddenly the slipper sole started burning. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It was a small but visible fire. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The odour of burnt rubber invaded the room. The odour of burnt rubber "Pervaded" describes exactly this situation of when a smell spreads throughout a room. |
|
I stared at my sister wondering what to do, while grandpa was still snoring peacefully. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Nobody moved or talked. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
All the kids were excited with the show, and suddenly the old man woke up and stood up speedly, shouting. All the kids were excited with the show, and suddenly the old man woke up and stood up speedily, shouting. "Quickly" is better than "speedily" here |
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After he extinguish his slipper he realized all the kids were laughing and said: you rascals didn't warn me, and likewise he started laughing. After he extinguished his slipper he realized all the kids were laughing and said Again, "likewise" is a bit formal, just "too" is enough. Or "he started laughing as well" |
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