ponta's avatar
ponta

March 20, 2021

0
A Big Earthquake

This evening, a big earthquake happened again in the Tohoku region of Japan. The magnitude is 7.2, and it was almost as big as the previous earthquake on February 13th. I'm back in my hometown where is far from there now, so, fortunately, I wasn't fear of the ground shaking but I'm worried about my friends and my room. Additionally, The tsunami warning was issued just after the shock. It would be scarier than before. Finally, the tsunami didn't happen and the warning was canceled.

Corrections

A Big Earthquake

This evening, a big earthquake happened again in the Tohoku region of Japan.

The magnitude iwas 7.2, and it was almost as big as the previous earthquake on February 13th.

Fortunately, I'm back in my hometown whereright now, which is far from there now, so, fortunately,, so I wasn't fear ofscared by the ground shaking b. But I' am worried about my friends and my room.

This sentence has a lot of things. I think it would be better to break it apart so that it's easier to read.

AIn additionally, The, a tsunami warning was issued just after the shock.

It would be scarier than before.

I'm not sure what you mean here. If you mean that the tsunami warning is scarier because of how quickly the warning was issued in comparison to the other earthquake, I'd say something like:

"The fact that it was issued so quickly in comparison to the earthquake on February 13th makes it a lot more scary."

Finalortunately, the tsunami didn't happen and the warning was canceled.

I chose the word "Fortunately" since I thought it sounded more natural in your story. "Finally" doesn't sound right.

You can also say this:

"But in the end, the tsunami didn't happen and the warning was canceled."

Feedback

I'm glad that you're safe!

ponta's avatar
ponta

March 21, 2021

0

Thank you so much!

A Big Earthquake

This evening, a big earthquake happened again in the Tohoku region of Japan.

The magnitude is 7.2, and it was almost as big as the previous earthquake on February 13th.

I'm back in my hometown, whereich is far from there, now, so, fortunately, I wasn't fear ofscared by the ground shaking b. But I'm worried about my friends and my room.

I'm being picky, but this sentence seems to me to demand a lot of commas if you want it to be in this order. Lots of clauses interrupting each other.

Maybe better: "Fortunately, I'm now back in my hometown, which is far from there, so I wasn't scared by the ground shaking."

Additionally, Tthe tsunami warning was issued just after the shock.

It would be scarier thanif it came before.

I think you mean this?

FinallyIn the end, the tsunami didn't happen and the warning was canceled.

"Finally" is slightly out of place here - I think it's more likely to be used when relating the final event in a sequence that's... unsurprising, maybe? First I got up, then I brushed my teeth, and finally I had breakfast.

But here the final event is something that sort of contrasts with the previous events. There's an element of "but", "in spite of all that", "however" - all these things happened, but this final event at least means it was not as bad as it could've been.

I'm not exactly sure. But I wouldn't say "finally" here, I would say "In the end" or one of the other phrases I mentioned.

ponta's avatar
ponta

March 21, 2021

0

Thank you for your correction and helpful explanations!

A Big Earthquake


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This evening, a big earthquake happened again in the Tohoku region of Japan.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The magnitude is 7.2, and it was almost as big as the previous earthquake on February 13th.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The magnitude iwas 7.2, and it was almost as big as the previous earthquake on February 13th.

I'm back in my hometown where is far from there now, so, fortunately, I wasn't fear of the ground shaking but I'm worried about my friends and my room.


I'm back in my hometown, whereich is far from there, now, so, fortunately, I wasn't fear ofscared by the ground shaking b. But I'm worried about my friends and my room.

I'm being picky, but this sentence seems to me to demand a lot of commas if you want it to be in this order. Lots of clauses interrupting each other. Maybe better: "Fortunately, I'm now back in my hometown, which is far from there, so I wasn't scared by the ground shaking."

Fortunately, I'm back in my hometown whereright now, which is far from there now, so, fortunately,, so I wasn't fear ofscared by the ground shaking b. But I' am worried about my friends and my room.

This sentence has a lot of things. I think it would be better to break it apart so that it's easier to read.

Additionally, The tsunami warning was issued just after the shock.


Additionally, Tthe tsunami warning was issued just after the shock.

AIn additionally, The, a tsunami warning was issued just after the shock.

It would be scarier than before.


It would be scarier thanif it came before.

I think you mean this?

It would be scarier than before.

I'm not sure what you mean here. If you mean that the tsunami warning is scarier because of how quickly the warning was issued in comparison to the other earthquake, I'd say something like: "The fact that it was issued so quickly in comparison to the earthquake on February 13th makes it a lot more scary."

Finally, the tsunami didn't happen and the warning was canceled.


FinallyIn the end, the tsunami didn't happen and the warning was canceled.

"Finally" is slightly out of place here - I think it's more likely to be used when relating the final event in a sequence that's... unsurprising, maybe? First I got up, then I brushed my teeth, and finally I had breakfast. But here the final event is something that sort of contrasts with the previous events. There's an element of "but", "in spite of all that", "however" - all these things happened, but this final event at least means it was not as bad as it could've been. I'm not exactly sure. But I wouldn't say "finally" here, I would say "In the end" or one of the other phrases I mentioned.

Finalortunately, the tsunami didn't happen and the warning was canceled.

I chose the word "Fortunately" since I thought it sounded more natural in your story. "Finally" doesn't sound right. You can also say this: "But in the end, the tsunami didn't happen and the warning was canceled."

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